Don't You Feel It Too
by Fan5124
Summary: Shino was never one to show emotion and he wasn't about to start now, but why was it that the one person he wanted more then anything wouldn't even look at him? And what was worse, his best friend was dating the man he wanted. Rating may go up.
1. Chapter 1

1Title: Don't You Feel It Too?

Pairings: Kankuro/Kiba, Neji/Hinata, Shikamaru/Chouji, Gaara/Lee, one-sided Kankuro/Shino (will change later)

Rating: PG for now, may go up

Warning: Angst for poor Shino & language, that's about it for now.

Shino watched kiba and Kankuro out of the corner of his eye, they seemed so happy together. Shino sighed very softly, so much so that no one heard as he turned to walk away, it didn't matter no one would notice anyway.

He had been dealing with it everyday for the last year, the yearning and unrequited feelings he had for the older boy. Of course no one knew, no one even _suspected_ because if there was one thing Shino was good at, it was hiding his feelings. He walked through town as he felt the kikaichu thrum through his body. They had been very unsettled since Shino had begun feeling the absolute loneliness of being such an outcast. Sometimes he would hear the others talk about him, call him a bug, or worse, he'd be called inhuman. Usually things like that just rolled off his back, hell, Kiba made it his duty to call Shino some name or other, but lately it had been harder. Actually, it had been unbelievably hard to keep up his 'no-care' attitude with the one person he began to really care for would never even look at him. He was extremely grateful for his glasses, they hid everything and that was a blessing.

He walked down the street and turned into the woods walking to his favorite spot by the river. It was really a beautiful place especially at this time of the day when the sun was just above the horizon. Shino sat down near the bank of the river and allowed himself a small smile as one of his female Kikai crawled over his finger. He had learned a long time ago to appreciate the bugs that inherited his body, while they ate his chakara and disgusted many people, he learned that they were his life, and most times they were all he had.

Shino looked out to the water and watched as a few fish darted back and forth. It was a nice place to go when everything was getting too much to bare. He couldn't understand why he felt the way he did, it was confusing. He never even knew he could feel something so sharp and painful. How was it that a boy who had tried to kill him years ago was now the one person who wouldn't leave his thoughts? Shino sighed as he drew some patterns in the dirt. Kiba and Kankuro had started going out and at the same time it seemed that Shino had disappeared faster than usual. Hinata had started going out with Neji and she was ecstatic so she was only around for training. Kiba on the other hand was around constantly, or maybe it was Shino who decided he couldn't leave. He was very adamant on seeing Kankuro, he figured if he couldn't be with the older boy then maybe seeing him, even with someone else, would curve his appetite some. Of course it never worked, as he sat and looked at the happy couple, he would scream on the inside, beg for just one moment the boy from Suna would just look at him.

The Aburame shook his head as he thought of his own bleeding heart. He couldn't let anyone know, ever, he had to be the cold, aloof, silent Shino everyone expected. He couldn't be a boy that was affected by being unwanted and sneered at for the insects he cherished, he couldn't _cry_. There was that same rotten feeling in his chest again as he thought of the looks and the outright insults. He was a good person, sure he was quiet and maybe he liked bugs just a little too much for most people's liking, but he was never a monster, no matter what mothers told their children as they briskly walked in the other direction.

There was a slight noise to his left and Shino froze. The person, no people who were coming were far enough away for him to leave, but at that moment he just didn't have the _strength_ to move. His heart was empty even with the Kikai running around in circles over his organs. He heard laughter and closed his eyes behind his ever-present glasses. Why did they have to follow him, what did he have to _do_ to just be left alone.

"Hey Shino! I was wondering were ya went!" Shino didn't bother to turn as Kiba ran up to him, Akumaru right next to him. The dog boy plopped down next to his teammate and sniffed at him. Shino's eyebrows lowered as he felt the insects in him begin to stir.

"Don't do that." Shino saw kiba grin and then look over to Kankuro who stayed near the trees. Of course he wouldn't come near Shino, the only few who did come near him were either to polite to run screaming or to damn nosey. Kiba leaned back and looked up at the darkened sky.

"Why are you over here anyway? You kinda just left when we were done practicing. Man, you didn't even say goodbye!" Shino grunted slightly and looked out towards the water, he didn't have to explain his misery.

"Hey Kiba, C'mon babe, lets get going, he doesn't want you around, he's just too polite to say anything. Plus, we have to meet up with Gaara and that crazy youth kid for dinner." Kiba groaned as he sat up and streched.

"I'll tell ya bug-freak, you sure as hell gave me a few bruises, I'll get you back tomorrow!" Kiba jumped up and ran towards Kankuro who was grinning. Shino decided he'd seen enough and stood to leave. He just wanted to go home and go to sleep, it seemed the only time where he was able to get out of the circle of hell he lived in. It was the only time he wasn't in _pain. _

He walked slowly and stiffly like normal, what was it that Kiba said? Oh right, he walked like he had a stick permanently shoved up his ass. As amusing as it was to most people, Shino found it rather offensive. Just because he stood tall and proud, didn't mean that he should be made fun of for that too. As if being known as a freak wasn't enough.

He walked away to the sound of laughter and barking. Was it going to be this way? Was everyone around him going to live their lives to their full potential happiness while Aburame Shino sat from the sidelines and listened to the hum of the insects around him. Well it made sense at least, Shino was the strong silent type, he would help anyone who needed it but when it came to actual friends or wanting to be around the boy who had bugs taking up his insides, no one was willing to go that far. But that wasn't even the worst part, who would ever learn to love a hive? Who could put their own fears of bugs aside and be there for him? There was absolutely no way he could be loved, and with that thought racing in his mind Shino walked home by himself just wanting to sleep and dream of a time where he would not be ostracized.

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TBC

A/N: Ok so this is my newest fic that I am working on. I believe this will become a Kankuro/Shino because recently I fell in love with this couple. Also please be patient with me, I am working on three fics right now that are multi-part so updating might be kinda slow.

Anyway I love feedback and if you want me to continue I will otherwise I'll just leave it for now. Hope you enjoy it!


	2. Chapter 2

Don't You Feel It Too?

Part 2

Pairings: Kankuro/Kiba, Gaara/Lee, Nejji/Hinata, Shikamaru/Chouji, one-sided Kankuro/Shino

Rating: PG-13 I guess, will eventually go up to NC-17

Warnings: Slightest hinting of incest (for Neji/Hinata obviously), angst, language

I would just like to apologize to everyone who has been reading this story. I haven't been able to update any of my fics for a while because I have been busy moving from an apartment I lived in for 12 ½ years into a house. So with all the packing and unpacking it was really hard to focus on my stories, but now things are settled so I'll try to update more often ok? Thanks for your patience!

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Shino tossed and turned in his bed, he just couldn't fall asleep. There were too many thoughts racing around his consciousness. Most of them consisted of a certain puppeteer and the feelings that were attached to him. He heard the slight hum of the kikai by his ear as he felt a few break through his skin. They scurried over his skin, leaving a tingling feeling in their wake, not enough to tickle but the slight pressure was felt.

Shino sat up with a groan and reached for his glasses, it was no use trying to fall asleep when his mind was racing. He sat up and looked out the window, the stars were bright over the quiet plains, the birds chirped merrily in the summer warmth as the insects hummed along with the wind. Shino felt slightly poetic as he thought of the sounds of summer but quickly shook his head. There was no use thinking of the beauty of words when he felt so utterly miserable. He leaned his head on the window ledge and watched as a ladybug crawled over the screen. He smiled sadly as he counted 7 spots on it's back, didn't that mean he was supposed to have good luck now? The tall boy shook his head, he wasn't used to these feelings, he wasn't used to his heart constantly feeling like it sat in a vice and just one more turn will totally destroy it.

"What should I do?" Shino didn't even realize he was talking out loud as he thought of his life. "Will I always feel like this?" Shino's vision began to blur and his heart began to race, he put his head on his arms as he felt the hot tears drip down his face to his arms. He heard the insects both inside and out of his body rustle and buzz. He never cried, _never_ but apparently his body refused to listen to that fact as he began to sob. So this was what it felt like to have a broken heart? Shino took off his glasses and threw them over his shoulder, not caring what happened to them as he cried out to the starry night.

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Shino groaned as he opened his eyes, not only did he have a headache from all the crying last night but his back was also aching from being in the same hunched over position for hours. He wiped his eyes and sat up stretching the tense muscles of his back. It was then that he remembered that he threw his glasses the night before. The dark haired boy turned and began to search, if something had happened to his glasses he would have to buy another pair, meaning he would have to go outside with no glasses at all. He desperately hoped it didn't come down to that. Just last week he had three extra pairs just incase something had happened, well the first pair had an unfortunate run in with Kiba's kunai during practice (hell he was lucky he still had an eye after that stunt), the second was used as a chew toy by Akamaru, well that's what Kiba said but Shino had his suspicions about the dog-boy himself. And the third had been totally annihilated by Naruto who decided it would be fun to piss of the tall Aburame and stole them and used some sort of jutsu to disintegrate them. Shino had not been happy that week.

Searching for his glasses was not fun when his eyes were burning and his head felt ready to explode. He would definitely have to remember the next time he felt so shitty he should not grab his glasses first. Shino groaned as he realized he had thrown his glasses right into the wall with what seemed like a lot of force considering they were now broken into three pieces.

Shino all but collapsed onto the floor next to his glasses. He couldn't ask his dad for a pair because the last time he had done that, he received a 2 hour lecture on how he should be more responsible with his possessions. Shino stood up and tried to ignore the spinning in his head as he began to get dressed, maybe if he left early enough, he could get glasses and not be seen by anyone.

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It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining brightly and the wind was blowing lightly. This of course meant hell for Shino because everyone was outside enjoying the weather. Mostly people just stared as the Aburame walked past with his head down trying to avoid any attention. Shino walked as quickly as possible without looking rushed, unfortunately he wasn't really paying attention to where he was going and with all the extra feelings running through his heart and mind he didn't notice someone in front of him until it was to late and he was on his back. He groaned and put his hands over his face. Great, just what he needed as if walking around without glasses wasn't bad enough, now he just walked into someone and made an ass out of himself.

"Damn I'm sorry! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, are you...Shino?" Shino peeked through his fingers and mentally began to kick himself, of course it had to be _him_ of all people.

"Sorry Kankuro." Shino sat up and ignored the hand offered to him as he stood up, he already felt embarrassed enough without needing help to get off the ground. Shino went to turn when Kankuro began to talk to him.

"What happened to your glasses? Not that I'm saying you should wear them." Shino tried to ignore the flutter of hope that crossed his heart, that wasn't a compliment...was it?

"They broke, I need to get new ones, excuse me." Shino turned and cringed, no wonder no one would want him, he was so cold, especially to the one he loved. It was his fault no one would ever want him and the sooner he accepted that, the less it would hurt with time...hopefully...

Of course he didn't seem to be enough for Kankuro, and it made sense being that he was dating Kiba.

"What happened?" Shino stopped and felt like his entire being froze over. He couldn't possibly tell Kankuro he had thrown them into a wall while _crying_. Shino just shook his head and slowly began to walk again. "Well it probably won't mean anything much coming from me but I really think you look good with out them." Shino closed his eyes trying to stop that funny feeling from stampeding his heart. He turned towards Kankuro ready to say something mean just so he could get away but he couldn't, not when the older boy was smiling like _that_. "You have beautiful eyes." Shino frowned and bit his lip. No he couldn't listen to this he couldn't have his soul ripped apart like this, quickly he turned and ran. As he ran back towards his house he promised to listen to all his father had to say as long as he got those damn glasses right now!

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Apparently his father could sense something was wrong with his son as he just handed the glasses over and told him to be careful with them. Shino received them gratefully and put them on. Unfortunately he had to go to practice with his team which more than likely meant another run in with Kankuro. He really wished to just crawl into bed and stay there for a little while...or the rest of his life, whatever...

"Shino, are you alright?" The tall boy turned to his father and nodded, usually his father didn't show much emotion unless there was something incredibly wrong. Like after he had faced Kankuro, funny how everything seemed to come back to the ninja from Suna. Shino quickly walked away, how embarrassing would it be to talk to his _father_ about something like love and sex...

Quickly he walked out of the house. It seemed that he wasn't safe anywhere, his father had known something was up, Kankuro seemed to be everywhere Shino went, and Kiba was dating the man Shino wanted. How was Shino supposed to fix this? He didn't want Kiba to find out and begin to hate him and he certainly didn't want Kankuro to know of his feelings. He felt bad enough without having Kankuro actually tell him of how Shino was not good enough and how wrong it was considering he was Kiba's boyfriend. Why did everything have to be so _hard?_

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Shino arrived at the training area early, like always. He needed to try and focus, his head was so full of agonizing emotions that he could hardly stand up straight let alone actually fight. When would these feelings go away? How was it that Shino had to feel this way about a man who had, at one time, tried to kill him?

"Shino!" Shino jumped slightly as his shorter friend yelped in his ear. "Holy shit Shino, you must really be out of it if I can sneak up on you _and_ make you jump. You ok man?" Shino looked at his best friend, the one person he truly ever trusted in his younger days. The one person he absolutely refused to hurt.

"..." Kiba rolled his eyes and punched Shino in the shoulder.

"C'mon man, lets spar, I got a new jutsu I wanna try." Shino nodded slightly and followed Kiba to the center of the training area. As Kiba gave a pep talk to Akamaru Shino's mind began to drift again. He wasn't used to being so distracted, especially during a fight but he couldn't help thinking of how his friend would hate him. Could he really give up his best friend? The first person to try and get to know him no matter how many times Shino threatened his life? No of course not, he couldn't do that to Kiba, so it was decided. Shino would simply keep his feelings to himself, and while it would hurt, it would be better in the long run. He would much rather have Kiba love him as a friend then hate him as a traitor and rival. "Hey! You ready there freak? Unlike some people I don't have all day to contemplate my existence! Let's go!" Shino sighed and got into a defensive stance. It was useless arguing with someone so thick-headed. "Hey and if I win you buy lunch today right?" Shino couldn't help but smirk a little under his collar but nodded.

"Ok." Kiba grinned as he charged. Shino waited, and as he and Kiba trained, no thoughts of Kankuro even crossed Shino's mind.

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	3. Chapter 3

Don't You Feel It Too

Part 3

Pairings: Kankuro/Kiba, Gaara/Lee, Nejji/Hinata, Shikamaru/Chouji, one-sided Kankuro/Shino

Warnings: The slightest mention of incest, (it may as well not even count...) That's about it for now. Oh and pairings will change to my fancy :) and slight Language warning...

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Shino couldn't help but grin under his high collar as Kiba groaned and sat up. Shino had literally knocked the other boy on his ass.

"Damn Shino couldn't you like...pretend to let me win at least once. That hurt." Shino rolled his eyes as his best friend continued to whimper and rub his butt with both hands.

"That would not be training Kiba." The shorter boy glared slightly as he winced. Finally, to Shino's relief, Kiba stopped rubbing at his sore bottom and sighed.

"Alright so you won...again...Where would you like to eat?" Now usually this wasn't a big deal, Kiba would make a stupid claim and usually Shino would reap the benefits. But for some reason, Shino just wasn't in the mood to eat nor spend any extra time out of the house.

Shino cursed silently as he realized he was slipping into that phase of just wanting to disappear. It seemed that if both his body and mind were not concentrating on training, then he was just wishing to sink into a hole. It wasn't even because of Kankuro, well not all of it was his fault. It was a feeling he had most of his life and it was just stronger now. He shook his head, he needed some sort of distraction. Maybe he should go with Kiba and get some food in his stomach. He turned to Kiba who was petting Akamaru's head affectionately.

"Where do you want to go to eat? You know I don't really care." Kiba looked up from a kneeling position with wide eyes.

"W-Wait, you mean you wanna come with me? Wow this is a first...um...I dunno where to go this seems like a big occasion." Shino rolled cold eyes behind his glasses as Kiba grinned, his canines poking past his lips. "I know! Lets go get some some ramen! I'm sure we can find Naruto there!" Shino sighed but decided to follow his friend through the crowded streets of Konoha. He listened with half an ear as the other boy talked about everything and nothing at the same time. It seemed Shino was having a hard time concentrating on anything let alone the nonsense his best friend came up with. The taller boy let his mind wander as he passed the shops. There were a few fruit stands and flower shops, a couple of food places, and of course the book store. Shino felt a smirk threaten as he watched Kakashi through the window reading the next issue of his favorite book. The owner of the store looked annoyed but at the same time relieved that he was pretty much staying in business because of the silver haired ninja. "Yo! Shino you even _listening_ to me?! I swear your just as bad as Kankuro, he does the same thing, only he at least tells me to shut up or something, you just plan out ignore me!" Shino turned and looked at his friend.

"I'm surprised you can make such astute observations while talking so much." Kiba looked lost for a second, as if someone had just kicked his dog. Shino couldn't help the chuckle that broke past his lips. Kiba glared but there was a soft humor in his eyes

"Oh man you really suck! But I gotta admit it's nice to see you still have your wit. I was afraid you lost your whole personality the last few months." Shino looked at Kiba who was smiling genuinely. "Ah, think I didn't notice did ya? C'mon Shino you owe me more than that. We've been best friends a long time, I know when your not being yourself." Shino felt his heart pound in his chest. He prayed to everything holy that Kiba was thinking it was for another reason then the truth. How do you tell your best friend your in love with their boyfriend?

"I've just had a lot on my mind." Shino winced internally, that sounded weak to his own ears. Kiba seemed to think the same thing as he frowned deeply.

"Look, how bout we skip the ramen and we got to my place for a bit, I think we should talk man." Kiba didn't even wait for an answer as he turned the opposite direction to head to his home. Shino felt his stomach drop as he slowly followed his friend. He had been so sure he had hid it well enough that Kiba wouldn't notice. Maybe Kiba was more observant then he let on.

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Shino sighed softly as he walked over the welcome mat of Kiba's front door. Akamaru ran past the older boy and through the kitchen opening. Kiba grinned slightly.

"Sit down, let me just feed him then we can talk." Shino turned and sat stiffly on the plush red couch. The cushions were atrocious and the sides were ripped to shreds. It showed just how many dogs decided to mark their territory in the house. The room smelled of dog, it made Shino scrunch his nose more then once. It was hard to get used to the smell if you weren't around it everyday. Kiba had warned him the first time he stepped into the Inuzuka household that the smell was a bit strong for those not used to it. It was more like a punch in the nose when Shino had set foot inside the room. It still effected him the same way every time.

It wasn't the smell that made Shino's stomach churn. In fact he was pretty sure it wasn't even the couch with it's bright ugliness. No, it was the idea of Kiba having actually figured out the biggest secret Shino actually had. It was making him nervous and nauseous. These were feelings the Aburame was in no way used to. He stood, ready to march right out of the house and avoid Kiba for eternity if needs be. He walked quietly to the front door when two strong arms were thrown around his waist.

"Hey Where the fuck you going? C'mon Shino, you knew eventually we would have to talk about this. You've changed, everyone sees it. And I mean _everyone_ hell even Naruto knows somethings up! Now come on, sit down and tell your best friend what's up." Shino turned his head to look away from Kiba who was now practically draped over his shoulders. "Shinooooo..." Shino sighed as he was hugged tighter. He had to admit, it was nice to actually be held in someone's arms for once instead of being pushed away. "Now get your boney ass back on the couch and tell me what's up. You're a right moody bastard but this is ridiculous." Shino dropped his chin to his chest and sighed. He nodded and Kiba pulled away.

For a moment Shino didn't move. He could feel Kiba's gaze burn into his back waiting for the black haired boy to turn around and sit. So apparently Kiba didn't know the direct reason for Shino's complete depression but he was still obviously concerned. After a moment of contemplation, Shino turned completely. Kiba grinned and patted the couch next to him. Shino rolled his eyes but gracefully sat down.

"So you gonna talk or do I have to torture it out of you. Trust me, Akamaru and I can sing for hours." Shino shuddered and nodded, oh yes he knew all about their 'talent.' His father hadn't been to pleased about the broken window and Shino had a hell of a time explaining that a loud, obnoxious singing voice really _could _break glass. To this day his father still didn't believe him. "So tell me what's up freak." Shino sighed as he studied his hands. "You want me to start us off?" Shino looked at Kiba who was facing him, one leg drawn up underneath him while the other hung off the couch swinging and kicking the couch gently in it's path. His arm was over the top of the couch almost touching the hood that covered the Aburame's head. His other arm in his lap, fingers twitching slightly. Shino felt slightly uncomfortable but the constant movements of those long-nailed fingers helped him relax slightly, he wasn't the only one uneasy. He shook his head, he was going to talk, about what...well he wasn't too sure. "How bout you tell me why you don't want to spar with me and Hinata anymore? I mean now that her and Neji are getting along so well and all, I understand not wanting to see that. I mean I also understand not wanting to see me and Kankuro, I mean I am kinda pervy most of the time, and he's no better but...well it's just you seem even more distant then usual. Did I do something?" Shino bit his lip, thankful for his glasses and for his collar. Why did he have to sound so dejected? Kiba was scratching at the tattoos on his cheek softly and looking to the side. Shino didn't like when the other boy looked like that, it made him feel even worse about the situation.

"It's not you." Kiba's eyes snapped over to Shino's eyes, well to his glasses, and blinked. "I'm just having issues that I have to overcome myself. Don't worry about it." Kiba frowned and shifted to move closer to his best friend.

"Shino, something's eating at you, I mean seriously ripping at you. Please Shino, please, tell me what's wrong." Shino felt a lump travel up his throat threatening to choke him. Why did those brown eyes have to show so much affection? Shino tore his own eyes away and looked at a single thread that hung from the couch.

"I...I can't." Shino winced at the hoarseness in his voice. Why did he agree to this? He wasn't emotional, hell most people didn't think he had a heart pumping blood through his system, how the hell were they supposed to believe he had emotions? He was unprepared for the hand that slid over his shoulder but he didn't jump. Kiba sighed as he leaned onto Shino, his hair brushing Shino's nose.

"What do I need to do to get you to talk to me Shino? I fucking care about you don't you get that?!" Shino closed his eyes as Kiba moved and sat next to him again. "Your like a fucking brother to me, I've loved you like my own family since we were little kids! What the _fuck_ do I have to do to get an answer from you?!" Shino felt something grip at his heart and suddenly to his own horror there were tears threatening to slip from his eyelids. He didn't deserve this person as a friend. Not when he was secretly jealous and sad that he couldn't have what the dog-boy did. Not when this boy, his supposed best friend admitted to loving him like family. "What is making you so goddamn miserable Shino? I want to know!" Shino had enough, he stood quickly and walked to the door. He was tempted to run but his pride wouldn't let him. He heard the couch squeal with Kiba jumping off. "Shino?" Shino shook his head.

"I'm sorry Kiba but what is making me this way...has nothing to do with you. I will figure it out on my own. I don't...I don't need your help." Shino gripped the door knob tightly as he wrenched the obstacle out of his way. He was out of the house and three blocks away before he even realized he had ran. Pride be damned. He had ran as that choking sensation came back ten fold. The tears once again in his eyes causing the area around him to whirl with color. All he wanted was to get home and melt into the floor board. He never wanted to feel this way. He had hurt his best friend because he, himself, was in agony everyday. As he walked faster towards his house he knew he had hurt Kiba with his words and actions. How could he do that to someone who just wanted to help? What kind of 'brother' was that?

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His bed was soft and warm and as he buried his face into the sweet smelling fabric all he could feel was the miserable loneliness, only this time it felt just a bit more real. After that stunt he would be surprised if he ever was forgiven. Then again in his mind, he didn't deserve forgiveness. It was with that thought that he stared at the wall with blank eyes until he fell asleep, a wrenching pain in his gut wishing he had never agreed to eating with Kiba that afternoon.

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TBC

Holy crap, it's been a really long wait on this fic...hehe...sorry. Anyway I hope you like it. Unfortunately I have fell in love with Kankuro/Shino but I also love Kiba/Shino so I'm kinda torn. Maybe I'll write a threesome just to ease the pain this fic is causing lol.


	4. Chapter 4

Don't You Feel It Too?

Part 4

Pairings: Kankuro/Kiba, one sided Kankuro/Shino, others mentioned but not really worth writing down...

Rating: R , will eventually go even higher

Warning: Shino's not exactly in character at the moment...

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Kiba watched from his front step as Shino ran from his house like a bat out of hell. Kiba sighed and turned back into the house. He looked over to the couch and smiled sadly as Akamaru whined softly.

"He's in even worse shape than I thought. What the hell is bothering him so much?" Akamaru growled and barked softly causing Kiba's eyebrows to shoot up high on his forehead. "Shino in love?...I would never have thought so but I guess that does make sense. I wonder who it could be..." Kiba sat down on the couch and pet the large dog's head. "I guess I'll just have to find out huh?" He grinned as he jumped up from the couch, a determined light in his eyes. "C'mon Akamaru, we're going to find out, and if he won't tell me, fine. I'll just do some investigating myself!" Akamaru barked and quickly followed his master to the front door. This was going to be one mission Kiba was definitely going to be successful in.

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Shino had an awful headache when he opened his eyes. The sun decided not to help any as it's rays seemed determined to burn the retina out of his eyes. He put a hand to his head and groaned softly. This was becoming a common occurrence and it was annoying to no end. He struggled slightly to sit up. He leaned heavily against his pillows as he thought about his actions around Kiba. He felt as if he had a rock sitting in the pit of his stomach just thinking of how he acted. He had treated Kiba so rudely and all the other nin tried to do was help. Shino sighed and shook his head, ashamed of his words and actions. Kiba had been so wonderful trying to help him and all he could do was run. It made the Aburame feel rather disgusted with himself. He knew he was going to have to apologize, even if he was mortified with his actions. Sighing once again the kikaichu master stood up and walked towards the door. He needed to calm down first before he went to see Kiba. He walked out of his bedroom door and walked quietly down the hall, he knew his father had heard him earlier, running into the house like he had seen a ghost. It was embarrassing to know that his own father had heard him acting so cowardly, it made him want to sink a little further into himself.

Shino walked into the bathroom and closed the door tightly. He needed to make things right with Kiba. He couldn't let this stand between their friendship, not when Kiba was the first friend he ever had. He sighed as he looked in the mirror and leaned his forehead against the cold surface. He needed to break out of this depression, if not for himself then for everyone around him.

He turned to the shower and turned on the hot water letting it heat up until he needed the cold water. He winced as he took off his coat. His t-shirt underneath was tight so it would not get in the way under his coat. That didn't bother him as much as the scars under the shirt. Shaking his head he he threw his shirt towards the laundry basket and then looked down to his pants. He'd always been uncomfortable with his body. After being a kid and seeing that no one else outside the Aburame clan had those kind of scars, it scared him into hating his own nakedness.

He slid out of his pants and quickly jumped into the shower, the water still slightly hotter then he liked. He hissed and quickly turned up the cold water. Once it was comfortable, Shino leaned against the tiled wall away from the spray feeling only the mist hit his skin.

He was miserable, and that seemed to be putting it lightly. How did anyone live life with unrequited love? Shino thought of Hinata suddenly and felt his lips turn upwards. Naruto may have been blind to her affection but she was strong. She had lived with the pain and learned to overcome it. He just needed to do the same thing, he needed to get his mind and heart off of Kankuro and worry about other things...of course that was easier said then done. Shino cursed softly as he thought of Kankuro. There was something about the sand-nin that just interested Shino at first, the way he used puppets to fight and the strength of the poison they had. Slowly that interest had turned into something deeper without Shino's consent. Suddenly he found he could not think of anything or anyone else but the other boy. Soon it was not his fighting style or what he used to fight, it was the way his muscles moved in his arms when he manipulated the chakara strings. Or how his skin was nicely tanned and that the paint he wore on his face covered something unbelievably handsome. How his hair was actually a sexy mess under that ridiculous hat.

Shino closed his eyes and stepped into the spray of the shower, he felt the kikaichu start to get restless as he thought of Kankuro and that was never a good thing. Not a good thing at all for the Aburame teen who was always composed and kept his body in check. Shino swallowed thickly as he ran both hands through his hair, he couldn't believe his body was reacting to only the thought of Kankuro. Running both hands over his face, he couldn't help but feel the heat grow in his gut and slowly spread downwards. He looked down and cursed again, his member was beginning to harden and become quite uncomfortable. Shino glared at his body and leaned over to the handle for hot water turning it off completely.

Shino almost cried out as the ice cold water hit his back, forcing the air out of his lungs. His breath came in gasps as he tried to will his growing erection away. He did not want to touch himself, he was angry and upset at his behavior from the day before and he did not want to disgrace himself anymore. Unfortunately for him, his cock seemed to have other ideas as it continued to be a bother even with the cold water. Shino put a shaking hand on the hot water nob once again and slowly turned it back on. Really there was no reason to suffer if it wasn't helping anyway. Shino looked at his erection, the warm water feeling like sensual fingers against his cold skin. It felt really good and that seemed to register to his erection. Shino groaned and took a step back from the spray. This shouldn't be a big deal, he should be able to get rid of a hard on without feeling so distraught!

Closing his eyes, he lowered his hand and slowly grabbed his now aching erection. He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment as he started to run his hands over his skin. The first caress made his knees buckle as the pleasure shot up his spine. He had to bite his tongue to hold back the tiny whimpers that wanted to escape his throat. He felt his body flush as he ran the hand over his cock faster and gripped just a bit tighter. He wanted it to end quickly but his body denied him as the pleasure swelled but refused to burst just yet. Shino felt his chest tighten and suddenly he couldn't tell if his not being able to breathe was from the pleasure or from the tears.

It was then with his hand at the base of his cock that he suddenly pictured Kankuro on his knees, that smartass smirk on his lips as he looked up at Shino and used his own hands. Shino shook his head trying to rid his mind of the image but it was just such a wonderful thought of somebody for once wanting him. His heartbeat was faster and the kikaichu moved quickly under his skin as his minds eye pictured Kankuro taking the head of his member into his mouth and caressing it softly. Shino noticed he was making tiny mewling noises as he stroked himself faster but couldn't stop. The image of a wet Kankuro sucking him off was just too much. The knot that was sitting in his gut tightened quickly and suddenly Shino felt the fire explode and rush through his body. He didn't realize he let out a cry until he heard it echo off the tiled walls.

Shino slid onto the floor and slowly pulled his legs to his chest. He put his forehead to his knees and he began to cry. All the emotion of the last few days seeming to rush through him as he sobbed uncontrollably. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. Shino Aburame should not be crying in the shower like some love sick girl! He should be happy for his best friend, should be sucking it up that he would never have Kankuro and move on with his life.

It was a few minutes before Shino had enough strength to stand up and wash his body. Finally he turned off the shower and stepped out into the steaming bathroom. He walked over to the mirror and slowly wiped at the condensation. He looked tired and miserable, the dark circles under his eyes just seemed to have gotten worse and he just looked like he was in depression. Shino had never felt more worthless.

He quickly pulled on a new shirt and some sweat pants. He was going to go in his room and sleep for a while, maybe that would help him. He sighed and opened the door of the bathroom then stopped. At the door stood his father, his eyebrows drawn low and he looked concerned, extremely concerned.

"Shino." All it took was his name being said and suddenly he felt just as horrible as in the shower. He tried to control the feelings inside him as he looked up at his father. The usual stern face now softened in worry. Shino suddenly just wanted to be held, he wanted to feel comfort from someone he knew loved him. He lowered his head and slowly stepped up to Shibi, he then wrapped his arms around his dad's waist and hugged him tightly.

Shino closed his eyes as he Shibi hesitate for only a second before he was wrapped in strong arms. They stood there for a few minutes and Shino felt better then he had in weeks. While his dad wasn't very emotional, he never turned Shino down for anything when he was upset.

"What is it Shino?" Shino took a shuddering breath and looked up at Shibi.

"Dad...Can we talk for a little?" Shibi ran a hand through his sons hair and nodded slightly.

"Ok." Shino nodded and broke away from the hug. He turned and began to walk towards his room. Shibi took a deep breath and followed. He was very worried about his son.

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Kiba walked up to the porch of Kankuro's temporary house. He was going to get some help with finding out what was with his best friend. He jumped up the stairs and grinned as he banged on the front door. He heard some cursing from the other side of the door and chuckled softly.

"That's why we have a fuckin' door bell! Why the hell..." The door was ripped open and standing in all his glory was Kankuro, war paint half applied to his face and a makeup brush in his hand. He looked at Kiba and glared, his curses dying on his lips. Kiba on the other hand couldn't help but laugh at the look his boyfriend was giving him.

"Holy shit! Stop it please, you're killing me!" Kankuro rolled his eyes and moved to the side to let the younger boy into the house. Kiba grinned as he walked past the taller boy and moved towards the couch. That was until his arm was caught in a strong grip and he was turned quickly, his lips attacked by Kankuro's. Kiba moaned and threw his arm over the sand-nin's neck opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. Their tongues battled almost fiercely for dominance over the kiss, both too stubborn to give up. Finally Kiba pulled away for a breath. Kankuro smirked and turned towards the couch slapping Kiba's ass on the way past. Kiba rolled his eyes and followed the other boy to the couch. "You look really stupid with only half your face painted you know." Kiba flopped down onto the couch and put his feet on the coffee table. Akamaru had made himself comfortable near the book shelf on the other side of the room.

"Really? I think I look rather dashing, anyway not that I mind or anything but why are you here?" Kankuro was now looking in the living room mirror carefully putting on the rest of his paint. Kiba looked at him with a false hurt look.

"You know I come here to get your help and all you can do is ask why I'm here? Like I need a reason now? What if I just came to fuck?" Kankuro looked at Kiba through the mirror and snorted.

"Yeah right, if you came here to fuck, as you so elegantly put it, you'd have your pants around your ankles and your ass sticking up in the air. Remember last time?" Kiba smirked slightly as he grabbed a throw pillow from the couch.

"And you didn't love it?" Kankuro quickly put the finishing touch on his face and turned towards his lover.

"Never said I didn't." Kiba watched as Kankuro walked to the kitchen disappearing for only a minute before he came back with some water. Kiba took it gratefully and took a large gulp. Kankuro sat next to his boyfriend and leaned back. "So what's up?" Kiba bit his lip for a moment then turned to Kankuro, eyes now extremely serious.

"I'm worried about Shino." Kankuro looked at him questioningly but didn't say anything. Kiba sighed. "He was over at my house earlier and when I tried to get him to talk to me he ran. Kankuro, I've never seen him fall apart like that. There's something seriously wrong and I want to find out what it is." Kankuro sighed softly and shook his head.

"Look Kiba I understand he's your friend and all but come on, the kid isn't exactly sociable. So he didn't want to talk to you about anything, that's not exactly a shock." Kiba growled slightly as his hands clutched into fists.

"That's not the point! There is something really killing him and I want to know what it is. Akamaru thinks Shino's in love." It was a good thing Kankuro hadn't taken a sip of water other wise he probably would have choked on it.

"What?! Shino in love? Yeah and I bet hell has frozen over too. I don't think that kid can even feel love." Kiba glared darkly at his lover. "What? C'mon Kiba I'm not saying he's not a nice guy or anything but it's not exactly like he wears his heart on is sleeve. So he's in love, unfortunately that can hurt more than anything and if he's got it that bad for someone who doesn't like him back then of course he's going to be depressed. Don't get me wrong I feel for him, I really do, but there's not much anyone can do about it. Do you even know who he's got the hots for?" Kiba sighed and shook his head.

"No but it's not fair. Shino's a great guy, he's just kinda shy..." Kankuro smirked and leaned back against the couch.

"Shino isn't shy Kiba, he just doesn't like people. Hell are you sure he just wasn't annoyed by you presuming he was miserable?" Kiba shook his head and groaned I frustration.

"You don't fucking understand Kankuro! Shino doesn't just act like that. He was really sad. I want to help him." Kankuro looked at Kiba for a moment and groaned.

"Fuck you want my help don't you?" Kiba grinned and jumped onto Kankuro's lap.

"Yep, so come on. We are going to Shino's house to see if we can get him to talk now come on!" Kankuro jumped up quickly and pulled at Kankuro's hands. "Come on!" Kankuro sighed and slowly stood up, Kiba kissed him quickly. "I knew you'd understand. Now come on let's go!" Kankuro watched as Kiba practically flew out the door and shook his head. He really couldn't see any kind of confrontation ending nicely, not if Shino, the unfeeling cocoon was actually in emotional pain. Oh man what the hell did he get himself into.


	5. Chapter 5

Don't You Feel It Too?

Part 5

Um because I'm feeling pathetically lazy now I'm just going to say pairings, rating, and warnings are listed in earlier chappies :)

oh one thing, slight bastardization of Kankuro cuz he's not very good with emotions either...

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Kankuro cursed silently to himself as he watched Kiba's speed increase. He did not want to see the Aburame. This was going to turn ugly and he did not want to be around when the emotions started to spill. Shino was in love and Kankuro knew exactly who the other boy was in love with, he had seen it in those gorgeous eyes just a few days ago. Kankuro had never seen such deep eyes and he had never, ever, in his life seen so much love directed towards himself. He had never expected that the kikaichu master was in love with him, hell Kiba seemed to be the best option if the Aburame was going to fall in love with another guy. Unfortunately love didn't work that way and Kankuro didn't know how to tell Kiba that his best friend was jealous of their relationship. He also didn't want to tell Kiba he had lied to him and had seen the emotions the Aburame had. He just wanted this whole thing to go away.

Kankuro sighed and looked over to Kiba. Kiba was his boyfriend and his lover. He loved Kiba. The dog boy was everything he could want. It was just so unfortunate that the last couple of days, all Kankuro could see when he closed his eyes were Shino's uncovered eyes looking back at him with a love Kiba couldn't even show. Kankuro did not want to get mixed up in this, he wanted to stay away from Shino and keep everything he had with Kiba. Sure he liked Shino and all but he was not about to give up the happiness he had with Kiba. Shino seemed to understand that, hence the emotional overload.

The sand-nin felt bad for Shino, he really did. Kankuro never had to deal with unrequited love, Kiba was his from the moment he had asked the Inuzuka out. But this was different, Kankuro had felt like something punched him in the face when he had found out Shino's secret. Shino never seemed so fragile, not even when he was halfway dead from Kankuro's poison all those years ago. Shino's feelings seemed to be killing him and it was a frightening thing to witness. Kiba had a right to be worried but Kankuro knew that after the truth came out that Kiba would unintentionally hurt his best friend. Kankuro was determined to keep Kiba guilt free and he knew Shino felt the same way. Unfortunately, someone was likely to get hurt and it looked like Shino was willing to take the fall, just as long as he was never approached by either Kankuro or Kiba. Kankuro felt his chest tighten slightly. Shino was willing to be miserable and lonely as long as he kept his pride... and his best friend. Kankuro never knew someone so selfless and stubborn at the same time.

"Kankuro! We're almost there you wanna speed it up a bit?" Kankuro smirked slightly but the humor didn't reach his eyes.

"Why don't we just not bother him? He doesn't seem the type to want to talk about his problems." Kankuro saw Kiba's frown and mentally sighed. He didn't want to deal with this drama. Sure he didn't think Shino should suffer or anything but this love issue he was having was not Kankuro's problem. Well it wouldn't be if Kiba would just drop it already.

"Don't act like an ass. This is my best friend and I'm going to help him. He'd do the same thing for me without expecting anything in return. Now stop being a dick and just be there for emotional support." Kankuro shook his head as Kiba walked closer to the Aburame house. Kiba didn't know what kind of 'emotional support' Kankuro was going to be. Hell he might as well just rip Shino's heart out of his chest at this rate, it might hurt the other boy less. Kankuro growled under his breath, seriously, how in the holy hell did he end up in these situations? Kankuro knew he wasn't the nicest guy and could be a sarcastic asshole when he felt like it, but apparently that seemed to attract people to him. Now he had to deal with being a love interest for someone he was in no way interested... well maybe that was being a little harsh, Shino was a good looking kid under all those clothes and behind those glasses, hell he had the most amazing eyes...

Kankuro shook his head almost violently trying to rid his mind of those thoughts. Nothing good would come of thinking that way towards the Aburame. Kankuro knew that this was going to get ugly and as he walked up the stairs of the Aburame household, all he could feel was a knot beginning to tighten in his stomach. He really hoped everyone would get out of this unscathed. He almost winced as Kiba knocked loudly on the old wooden door. For some reason the sound seemed to echo through his ears until the moment the door opened. Kankuro looked at the man in front of them and suddenly he felt just a bit smaller. Even with those dark glasses Shibi was an intimidating man and Kankuro couldn't seem to shake the feeling that this meeting had turned from ugly to catastrophic.

"Uh.. Hi Mr. Aburame...look I was wondering if I could talk to..." Without a word Shibi had moved away from the door and offered a hand welcoming them into the house. Kiba turned to look at Kankuro who was shaking his head slightly. He knew he should have just stayed home.

"Shino will be right down." With that Shibi was gone into another room and Kiba and Kankuro were left to feel uncomfortable in the large living room. Kankuro was not used to feeling uneasy so as he looked around his defensive mechanism kicked in and he smirked.

"So where do you think they hide the porn?" Kiba glared at Kankuro dangerously.

"Don't be a perv Kankuro." Kankuro shrugged and moved to make himself comfortable on the couch. His cocky mask fitting right over the twisting feeling in his chest.

"Whatever I just hope we don't have to mop up tears now."

"That shouldn't be a problem." Kankuro almost jumped at the newcomers voice. He turned around and looked over the back of the couch. Shino stood at the bottom of the stairs, coat zipped up to the very top of his collar and he glasses covering those eyes. Kankuro turned to Kiba who had walked over to Shino and was now standing in front of the taller boy.

"Shino...I really think we should talk. Please?" Kankuro had never seen Kiba beg outside of the bedroom and it was unsettling to see Shino look at the Inuzuka so coldly.

"There's nothing to talk about. I was just thinking to much, I was stressing out over unimportant things. It's not something that should trouble you." As Shino said his words carefully, Kankuro couldn't help but feel slightly offended and maybe a little angry. Kankuro didn't like the idea of himself being 'unimportant.' It struck a rotten chord with his ego. Kankuro stood up and walked over to Kiba gripping his arm.

"Fine, you have nothing to say to us? Good, I don't think I could listen to your emotional crap anyway. Come on." Even as he said it, he felt like the biggest asshole in the world, and that was something new to him. He didn't care about hurting other people's feelings but for some reason this didn't sit right with him. That of course didn't stop the eldest of the three to drag Kiba out of the house, Akamaru right on their heals. "Fix up your emotional shit otherwise leave it in your bedroom. Kiba doesn't deserve to be bothered by some emotionally fucked up friend and I don't feel like hearing it." With that Kankuro pulled a speechless Kiba out of the house and down the street. He knew that any minute Kiba was going to try and beat the shit out of him but all Kankuro could think of was to get as far away from Shino as possible. Suddenly he didn't like the way Shino made him feel, it was foreign and made him angry. He was already in love with Kiba, he didn't need anyone else, especially not Aburame Shino...

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Shino stared out the open door too shocked and hurt to actually move from the spot he was standing in. Had Kankuro really just said all of that? It wasn't as if Shino had acted any different then he used to act. He had been cold and aloof, how could that have sent Kankuro into such a speech of being emotional? Shino turned slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Shibi shook his head and turned Shino to look at him. Shino sighed and broke away from his father.

"It's ok. I'll be fine." Shino walked back up the stairs leaving Shibi in the center of the room, a frown marring his features. He hated seeing his son hurt so much, it just wasn't right.

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Shino closed his door lightly and sighed. He leaned back against the door and tried to figure out what he was feeling. He hadn't meant to act so cold to Kiba, he just wanted the attention off of his depression. He had thought that would have been the best thing for everyone, apparently that was the wrong thing to do. He closed his eyes behind his dark glasses as he thought of what had gone on downstairs, why had Kankuro gone off like that? The puppeteer had been really kind to Shino recently, what had caused such a change? Shino slowly opened his eyes and made his way to his bed. Taking off his coat and his glasses he felt like he was in some sort of haze. Everything seemed out of focus and he felt slightly dizzy. He sat on his bed and put an arm around his waist trying to figure out what the feeling in his gut was. He tried to take a deep breath but his chest just didn't seem to want to expand. He was hurting.

It was at that moment that Shino realized he was so upset that he couldn't even cry. He had thought things would look up if he just pretended he was fine but that seemingly was the wrong thing to do, it just hurt more.

Shino lay back on his bed and looked up at the ceiling. He had talked to his dad about his situation and boy, had that been an odd conversation. He had never had a problem telling his dad anything, but when he was younger there was never any secrets to hide. Now that Shino was older and in love there were new problems and this was one he needed advice on.

He had told his father everything about the last weeks, from the moment he started to feel changes towards Kankuro to how he felt about his and Kiba's friendship. Shibi had been quiet the whole time, allowing Shino to say everything he needed to get off his chest. Shino had never felt so embarrassed in his whole life, telling his father almost all the intimate feelings he had, but afterwards it had felt like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. Shibi had listened and had even given him some advice. It had been awkward considering how the Aburame clan was raised but Shibi had made sure to tell Shino that he should do what he needed to be happy. Shino knew that it wouldn't be possible for all three of them to be happy at one time so he was willing to push everything to the side so Kiba and Kankuro could be happy. Shibi of course hadn't liked the idea of Shino being left behind like that and...Shino had cried in his dad's arms for the first time ever and that had meant the most to him. Shibi just let him cry and just tried to comfort, it had felt so nice to actually feel a family bond like that and Shino was pretty sure that was all he'd ever find.

At the end Shino had decided to let everything go, he would still hurt but he wasn't going to let everyone know. It seemed that Kankuro had seen right through that plan and had been angry about it. Shino felt his stomach twist a little at the memory of Kankuro's anger. What was he going to do now? He didn't even get a chance to apologize to Kiba for running out of the other boys house, did that mean he didn't even have a best friend? Shino gripped the sheets as his heart twisted in his chest, he didn't think he could live without anyone. He may be a loner but he was also human, if he didn't have his only real friend then what did he have?

Shino could feel the sheets being lifted from under the mattress as he took a little more in his fist. He was feeling sick to his stomach and his head began to pound. The kikaichu were obviously disturbed as they began to crawl out from under his skin. Maybe he really was emotionally damaged, he certainly felt that way at the moment. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths trying to calm his nerves, everything would work out ok in the end...well that's what he hoped for but for some reason he just couldn't shake the feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach. It felt a lot like despair.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Kiba was looking back at the house as Kankuro dragged him away. What the hell just happened? Why had Kankuro just seemed to snap? Kiba blinked a few times then finally managed to snap out of his slight daze. He pulled his arm back roughly and glared as his boyfriend turned around.

"Kiba..." Kiba growled low in his throat and glared dangerously at his boyfriend.

"Don't you dare! What the fuck was that Kankuro? I went there to actually talk to him. Something is obviously making him very depressed and I want to help! Just because you are an asshole to most people don't you dare presume that I am just going to turn my back on him! I am supposed to be there for him when he's feeling bad that's what friends do! You probably just made him feel ten times worse about whatever is..."

"You wanna know what's wrong with your 'best friend'? Well I'll fuckin tell you. He's in love with me! That's why he's been trying to ignore you. He doesn't want you to know but if this is how it's going to be then now you know and we don't have to hold any secrets!"Kankuro glared as he yelled as loud as Kiba in the rather empty street. "Seeing us together makes him miserable so I did the best thing for everyone and pulled you out of there. Our presence hurts him. Are you happy now? Now you know why he's so fucked up. He doesn't want to loose his best friend because he's in love with me!" Kankuro took a deep breath and watched as Kiba's face went blank then suddenly changed into despair.

"Oh god...Kankuro...Shino he...I can't believe I didn't notice it before." Kiba turned quickly. "I have to go back!" Kankuro watched as Kiba sped off with Akamaru and sighed. He hadn't meant to say it, he really didn't want to give up Shino's secret but it was a reflex, a bad one, but a reflex none-the-less. He put a hand to his forehead to fight off the headache that was beginning to form. What the hell did he just do? He had managed to hurt Shino in the two worst ways in a matter of five minutes. He had told Kiba the Aburame's secret and had yelled to the younger boy about his emotional problems. Kankuro knew he couldn't leave what he said to either Kiba nor Shino just hanging in the air. He needed to apologize to them both but he especially needed to apologize to Shino. Maybe if he actually used his brain, he could heal some of the hurt he had caused. Slowly he began to walk back to Shino's house. He could only hope that Shino and Kiba would forgive him.


	6. Chapter 6

Don't You Feel It Too

Part6

Pairings: Kankuro/Kiba, Kankuro/Shino, Kiba/Shino friendship (maybe more hehe), others have been mentioned but kind of forgotten...

Rating: PG-13

Warning: none really, actually this part is kinda sweet enough to leave your teeth aching...

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Kiba ran as fast as he could down the quiet street. He needed to get to Shino, he had no idea what he would say when he got to the Aburame house, but he was damn sure he was going to fix this. Suddenly, there was a raw hate stirring in Kiba heart and to his surprise, it was towards himself. He had been hurting Shino for god-knows how long without even knowing it. How could he have been so blind! Thinking back on all the times he had seen Shino, it was almost like a slap in the face. How could he have not figured out Shino was in love, and with Kankuro of all people! It made so much sense that Kiba felt like the most horrible person on the face of the planet for not figuring it out on his own. His best friend, the person he had loved like family for years was still a complete fucking mystery to him. All those years training together and talking and still Kiba had not learned anything about the Aburame. It was truly a heartbreaking realization that his friendship with Shino had apparently been so clouded that Kiba needed Akamaru and Kankuro to figure out such an obvious hurt in the tall and quiet boy.

Kiba stopped in front of the Aburame household and felt tears gather in his eyes. How could he have been such a horrible friend without even realizing it? He had unintentionally put Shino through the worst depression he had ever witnessed. How was he going to make this right? He couldn't just go up to his friend and offer him to take Kankuro away, Kiba was in love, no matter how much of an asshole Kankuro could be. He also couldn't tell his lover to just run away with Shino and just leave their relationship broken into pieces. Kiba sighed as he made his way to the side of the house, there could be no happy ending with such emotions running around. The Inuzuka knew he was going into Shino's home just to hurt the other boy. Kiba had never felt so miserable in his life.

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Shino stared at the ceiling lost in thought, yet he could not put one rational idea together. Words and feelings seemed to mix together causing a sudden and sharp tightness to surround his heart. He was getting really tired of living like this, wasn't there something that could help him?

Shino never thought of himself as a weak person, he had dealt with a lot in his years. He had been called an outcaste since the day he was born. He had suffered for years with the pain of insects bursting out and then burrowing back into his skin. He had been friendless for years and became introverted and cold. That was how he dealt with being hurt, now it just seemed he didn't know how to control something this agonizing. This hurt more then people calling him names or running away from him, or the scars that were left in the kikaichu's wake. This pain was something he couldn't control and it was beginning to scare him. It was with that thought that he realized just how loud the kikaichu were buzzing. He hadn't realized they were crawling over his skin until that moment. They seemed restless, going in and out of his skin, almost like a distraction. It would have been more helpful if it actually worked, unfortunately his insects were just adding more to what he was thinking.

There was a soft tapping on his window and he felt his body automatically sit up and grab a kunai he kept by his bedside table. He looked over to the window and sighed. Kiba looked as miserable as Shino felt. Slowly he put his kunai back and walked over to the window, trying to force the kikaichu back into his body. Kiba may be his best friend but that didn't mean he wanted to freak the other boy out with the amount of bugs crawling over him. Hesitating only for a moment he unlocked the window and opened the screen.

"Thanks man." Kiba crawled into the room almost falling face first onto the carpet. Shino nodded and walked over to his bed. He felt uncomfortable and awkward with Kiba in his room, it was such a foreign feeling that Shino could actually feel his cheeks burning. Kiba, now sitting on the floor where he almost fell, looked down at his hands and sighed. "Look Shino, I don't know what to really say...I was trying to come up with something meaningful and what-not but...oh man..." Shino nodded as he looked to Kiba, it wasn't supposed to be like this, Kiba was supposed to be talking about nothing and everything t once. This was not how a friendship of years was supposed to end. Shino looked to Kiba and couldn't explain the pressure in his chest but it hurt more then anything he'd ever experienced before. "Shino!" Kiba jumped off the floor and ran to the bed. Shino watched as Kiba ran to him and sat down, gently the brunette moved his hands to the Aburame's cheeks and gently brushed the tears away. "It's ok Shino, please don't cry." Shino blinked slowly as Kiba continued to wipe away the tears gently. "You know, I've never seen you without your glasses." Shino nodded as he tried to get his throat to open enough for him to talk. He was petrified that someone was seeing him cry, but he was also thankful that if someone out of his immediate family witnessed him crying then he was grateful t was Kiba.

"I..." Shino realized that if he tried to speak he was going to begin sobbing, he really didn't want that, he was embarrassed enough. Kiba smiled slightly and wrapped an arm around Shino's shoulders. Shino couldn't help but lean into the comforting embrace.

"You know I never, in the whole time I've known you, ever expected us to one day end up like this. I...I'm kinda happy though. For the first time ever, I feel that I'm finally seeing you. It's nice." Shino heard Kiba's voice hitch as he spoke and knew the other boy was on the verge of tears too. Shino never wanted to hurt the Inuzuka and now that he was sitting here he realized that's all that seemed to follow him, everywhere he went there was pain. That was why he was a loner and why people avoided him. It was an ugly thing to be surrounded by pain, it was even worse when he didn't even realize he did such a horrible thing to people by just existing.

"I'm sorry Kiba." Kiba looked at Shino who suddenly reached around Kiba and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry, I never realized..." Kiba was confused as Shino mumbled into his collar bone. Hot tears seemed to scorch his neck as Shino continued to cry. Kiba felt confused and slightly frightened that Shino was breaking down so completely.

"Shino...Shino, come on hon, tell me what's going on in that head of yours, cuz no offense but your confusing the hell outta me..." Kiba gently pried Shino from his neck and looked at him. He smiled slightly and cupped Shino's face in both hands. "I have to tell you, your scaring the shit outta me, but at the same time I don't think I've ever been happier that you finally let me see you without glasses and that shit coat you have." Shino tried to glare slightly about the coat comment but his eyes weren't making him look very threatening. "Hey it's meant as a compliment , you're actually quite breathtaking without all that crap." Kiba's smile died on his lips and he released Shino's face. "You know maybe if you dropped all that stuff...maybe Kankuro would look at you differently." Kiba glanced at Shino who suddenly looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"W-what?" Kiba smiled sadly and sighed.

"Kankuro told me why you have been so miserable lately...I had to come back and talk to you. I know it's true I can see it now, I'm just sorry it took me so long. I feel like a complete bastard." There was a short minute of silence. When Shino shook his head.

"Why?" Kiba looked over to Shino, his eyebrow quirked at an odd angle.

"Whadda you mean 'why'?"

"Why do you feel like a bastard? I was the one who...I never wanted you to know because I knew you'd feel bad for me. I never wanted you or Kankuro to know...I was willing to go to the grave with this... I never wanted you to know and hate me. You are the only friend I have, I can't lose you, I just can't." Kiba looked at Shino in surprise and smiled even as tears threatened once again.

"Shino, I may not be able to just hand Kankuro over, but that doesn't mean I'm a complete asshole. I love you, I would never hate you for something you can't control." Kiba sighed as Shino looked away, a hand going up to his eyes. "Shino, please don't cry again. I could never hate you, ever. You have meant more to me then anyone, sure I fell in love with Kankuro but that doesn't mean I don't love you. C'mon love give me a little more credit." Kiba smiled slightly as Shino looked to him. "Don't be upset anymore, I promise I'll beat up Kankuro later for you too ok?" Shino shook his head slightly, his smile was sad and didn't reach his eyes but he was trying, for Kiba's sake.

"No it's alright, you don't have to. I... I just...I do feel better now though." Kiba's smile lit up the room as he hugged Shino tightly.

"Good cuz I was scared there for a while." Kiba rested his forehead against Shino's for a minute and whispered soflty. "Don't ever let something like this eat at you again Shino, I mean it! If you have a problem then talk to me, we've been through too much for me to ever hate you. Especially for something like this, I mean I can't blame you, Kankuro's a sexy bastard." Shino laughed softly even as a few stray tears rolled down his cheeks. Kiba wiped them away once again and leaned back. "Promise me ok?" Shino nodded as Kiba ran a clawed hand over Shino's cheek. "You know now I'm going to want to see you without your glasses and coat anymore..." Shino smirked slightly and sat back. He looked down towards his lap where his hands rested.

"Are you hitting on me now?" Kiba laughed and lay back on Shino's bed, hands behind his head.

"Sure, keep thinking that Shino." Shino nodded and sighed softly. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders and felt like he could once again breathe. Kiba was still his friend and while it may hurt for a while that Kiba and Kankuro were together, it was no longer going to weigh Shino to the point of depression. Kiba had just saved him from hell and Shino didn't think he'd ever be able to thank him enough. Suddenly Kiba sat up and chuckled and Shino looked at him. "Sorry, Kankuro is outside with Akamaru. It smells like he's nervous...that's not something I get from Kankuro a lot." Shino stood up and walked over to the window. Kankuro was kneeling next to Akamaru and talking quietly with the dog. Shino was startled as Kiba leaned over him his hand on Shino's shoulder. "Don't tell him anything Akamaru!" Kankuro jumped from his kneeling position and looked up to Shino's window. His face red with embarrassment. He scratched the back of his neck and looked up to the window, he kept shifting his weight from one foot to another. It was apparently the funniest thing Kiba had ever seen since he was laughing into Shino's back. "Seriously he is such a dork, what do you see in him Shino?" Shino couldn't help but chuckle a little at that, even if there was a sore spot that twinged slightly.

"Same thing that you do apparently." Shino jumped as two arms wrapped around his waist. Kiba squeezed slightly.

"I think we should let him up and finally talk about this. Don't you think so?" Shino sighed and nodded, Kiba was right, Kankuro deserved to know the truth, plus Shino was starting to feel bad about leaving Akamaru outside for so long without Kiba. Kiba let go after a minute and Shino almost protested. It had felt unbelievably nice to be held by strong arms that didn't belong to his father for once, even if it was only in comfort. Shino had never realized Kiba had such strength just in his arms. "You want me to get the door or do you wanna see Kankuro try to climb up the side?" Shino smiled as he turned and went to sit on the bed. He reached for his glasses and put them on, not missing the slight whine of protest from Kiba.

"As fun as that might be to see, I don't want you to have to leave Akamaru out there any longer." Kiba smiled slightly and nodded. He went over to Shino and put his hand on his shoulder.

"I promise you that this will get better ok?" Shino looked up at his best friend and nodded slightly. Kiba smirked and turned towards the door. "Be right back my love!!" Shino bit his lip to stop the chuckle that was threatening. As Kiba left, Shino felt as if a piece of him had shattered but at the same time it felt nice to not have that cloud hanging over his head. So while he would still hurt a little, maybe after they all talked it would get better. After all, Kiba had promised and if there was one thing Kiba was good at, it was being fiercely loyal and protective of his loved ones. Shino finally felt that things might be looking up.


	7. Chapter 7

Don't You Feel It Too

Part7

Pairings: Kiba/Kankuro, one sided Kankuro/Shino, Kiba/Shino friendship

Rating: PG-13

Warning: holy crap it's become angst central again...

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Shino bit his cuticle nervously as he waited for both Kiba and Kankuro to come up to his room. It was slightly annoying that he suddenly picked up such a disgusting nervous habit. He had never been one to have 'nervous habits', hell, he'd never really been nervous before. He winced slightly as he ripped the skin away from his finger, a sharp sting racing through his hand. He looked at the abused flesh and sighed at the blood beginning to pool around his nail. Hopefully talking about this whole thing would ease some of the uneasiness Shino felt. He really hated feeling so out of his character.

Shino stood from his bed and walked to the window, Kiba had walked outside and was now seemingly dragging a flustered Kankuro behind him. Apparently the Aburame wasn't the only one uncomfortable with this 'talk'. Shaking his head, the tall boy made his way back to his bed. He had been all for talking when Kiba was in the room but now it seemed pointless. Kankuro had already known of Shino's love so what would be the point of confirming it except to make Shino express feelings he wish he didn't have?

Shino sighed and picked at a loose thread on the comforter. He was going to have his best friend and the person he loved in his room to tell them of a love they already confirmed he felt? That just seemed pointless and true, while he wanted to clear the air and tell them he wasn't planning to interfere in their relationship, he still felt slightly discouraged. What would be the point except to open wounds that had just begun to heal? Shino shook his head and wrung his fingers together, he didn't want to talk, he wanted Kiba and Kankuro to leave him and go enjoy their time together. He wanted to be left alone.

Shino cringed as he heard the stairs creak with extra weight. Sitting up straight, he took a deep breath and waited for what felt like the beginning of the end. Shino felt his heart thump heavily in his chest and he held his breath. He couldn't really understand what was happening, maybe it was some sort of panic attack? Maybe, but as he waited one thing was certain, Shino Aburame was frightened. He was so _scared_, almost to the point where he couldn't move. The door to his room moaned quietly and Shino couldn't do anything, he couldn't turn away, he couldn't even blink. All he could do was feel his blood rushing through his ears, hearing nothing, barely being able to see. Finally he swallowed and berated himself to calm down. This was not how a ninja acted and Shino _never _disappointed when it came to being a ninja. Suddenly his vision began to grey in the corners. At first Shino feared he was going to faint, the feeling making his stomach weak. What was going on? Just a minute ago he was beginning to feel better about everything.

Watching Kankuro come into the room seemed to cause his heart to pound and the kikai to buzz loudly. Shino never felt so light headed and as he stared at Kankuro's somewhat dumbfounded face, he knew something was terribly wrong.

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Kankuro walked into the room before Kiba and looked to the boy who sat on the bed. He couldn't take his eyes from the younger boy. He wanted to apologize for being such an asshole, to tell him everything would be ok. That of course would have been a lie and Kankuro was never one to resort to lying. Who was he kidding? This whole situation was fucked up and it most certainly wasn't ok. Kankuro figured after this night, nothing would ever be ok.

Kankuro blinked as Kiba tapped his shoulder, pushing him forward slightly. Kankuro moved rather ungracefully into the room feeling unsteady and _wrong_ for any number of reasons. The top being as how Shino seemed to just exist, his whole body language seeming to give up. Kankuro frowned and turned toward Kiba. He had been told that Shino was, at least at the moment, stable. Looking toward his lover confirmed that he was not the only one surprised by Shino's look. Kiba pushed past Kankuro and sat next to the kikai master.

"Shino?" There was a slight pause as Kiba put a hand on Shino's shoulder. There was a soft whimper from Akamaru who sat in the corner, a warning sound which made Kiba slightly nervous. Shino seemed unresponsive for a moment but then turned to Kiba, his lips in a thin, tight line.

"Kiba, I'm not feeling very well." Shino's breathing became heavy and labored as he looked down at the floor. Kiba's eyes went wide with worry and he turned to where Kankuro was standing. Without even asking Kankuro was running down the stairs looking for Shino's dad.

"Shibi!" Kankuro didn't bother with formalities, there was something seriously wrong and Shino's father needed to get up to the bedroom now. Shibi was in the livingroom reading a book when he stood, the excitement in Kankuro's voice seeming to get his attention rather quickly. "It's Shino..." Kankuro didn't even get a chance to finish as Shibi was up the stairs and in Shino's room in seconds flat. Kankuro cursed and quickly followed, all the while only one thought was circling in his mind 'what the fuck is going on??'

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Kiba jumped out of the way as Shibi ran into the room, afraid he would be barreled over by the man if he didn't move quick. He watched as Shibi kneeled in front of his son, a hand to the boy's chest.

"Shino?" Kiba winced as he heard the concern in Shibi's voice. Never in his whole time of knowing Shibi, had he ever heard the man sound so...scared. Kiba felt Kankuro's presence behind him, a hand on his shoulder but all he could seem to do was watch in horror. He had never actually seen someone have any kind of attack like this, the fact that it was Shino just made it harder to understand. What had happened from the time he left to when Kankuro walked through the door?

"Shino, take a deep breath it's ok." Shibi took Shino's glasses and placed them on the bed. Looking into his son's eyes he gently talked his son through what looked like a pretty strong panic attack. Shibi turned to Kiba and Kankuro, his voice low and angered, another trait Kiba had never seen from the Aburame. "Get the Hokage." Kiba nodded and turned to leave when Kankuro stopped him.

"I'll go, stay here with Shino." Kiba nodded as Kankuro raced down the stairs. Akamaru who had been quiet for the most part whimpered again. Kiba turned towards the big dog then back to Shino who seemed to be getting himself under control. Shibi cupped Shino's face gently and looked into deep, dark eyes, still slightly unfocused.

"Look at me Shino." Shino's eyes turned to the older Aburame's face, finally seeming to see through the cloudiness. His hands shook slightly as he nodded to his father.

"Dad..." Shibi sighed and stood up, he sat next to Shino who had tears lining his eyes. "Dad..." Shibi wrapped an arm around his son and pulled the boy closer.

"It's over just focus on your breathing." Kiba sighed in relief as Shino seemed to be over whatever he had suffered. Kiba was no med-nin but he hoped to everything holy, that he never had to witness his best friend suffer like that again. It was then that Kiba almost gasped aloud as those dark, beautiful eyes stared at him, unseeing.

"Dad...I'm falling apart..." Kiba had never actually felt his heart break before, but at that moment he felt his whole soul shatter. His best friend was suffering demons that no one could see and it was dragging him into a depth where soon no one would be able to reach.

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Kankuro ran like his life depended on it. The Hokage building seemed to keep moving further away as he ran in it's direction. Growling deep in his throat, Kankuro pushed his body harder. Shino was in trouble and something needed to be done and fast.

Finally the entrance to the Hokage building came into view, Naruto was standing there with that kid Temari had a crush on. Kankuro ran past both of them, ignoring the shouts from the loud blonde. Skipping steps at a time he finally got to the Hokage's office and pounded on the door until it finally opened. Standing in the doorway was a none-to-pleased Hokage, her eyes burning with annoyance.

"What do you want brat?" Kankuro growled but held back from daring her to call him that again. Instead he glared and motioned with a thumb behind him.

"We need you at the Aburame home now!" Kankuro watched as the Hokage's eyes narrowed slowly then widened as if she had been hit by a 10 ton hammer. Without a word she pushed past Kankuro almost knocking him down the staircase. Kankuro quickly followed, jumping off the top floor to the ground floor. His knees buckled slightly at such a high jump, he hadn't done one in a while and it showed. Shaking off the uncomfortable feeling that raced up his spine he quickly went to follow the Hokage when Naruto jumped in front of him, a worried expression on his face. The one next to him also looked slightly concerned.

"What's wrong Kankuro?" Kankuro waved the other boy off not bothering for an explanation. He ran back towards his destination and cursed as he felt the chakara of the two leaf-nin's follow him. Ignoring it for the moment, he hurried back to the Aburame house only to be stopped by a pretty shaken Kiba, Akamaru right by his side.

"The Hokage kicked me out, she needs to examine him." Kankuro looked up to Shino's window and sighed. "What are you two doing here?" Kankuro turned to Kiba and the other two that had followed him. Surprisingly Kiba sounded pretty angry that his friends were there.

"We followed him to see what the hell was going on! He was running like all hell was after him. What's going on?" Naruto looked worried as he looked up at Shino's bedroom window. "What's wrong with Shino." Kankuro was about to hold back Kiba, as he looked ready to attack, but to his surprise the genius next to him smacked Naruto hard in the head. "Shikamaru! What the hell?!" It was then that the Hokage came out of the house, a rather sad expression on her face. Kankuro bit the inside of his lip as his stomach seemed to drop out of his body suddenly. This did not look good.

"Hokage-sama?" Kankuro looked at Kiba and mentally sighed, when Kiba used formalities with Tsunade, that was definitely not a good sign. Tsunade looked at Kiba with narrowed eyes and shook her head.

"He just needs some rest. Leave him be for a while, he'll be ok." The Hokage walked away rather stiffly causing Kankuro to believe there was more to it then just 'rest.' Kiba turned to Kankuro and sighed.

"I need to see if he's ..."

"That won't be necessary." Kiba blinked as he was cut off. All four shinobi turned to the house to see Shibi standing at the door. Kankuro knew by the tone the older man used that this was going to get ugly.

"B-but I..." Shibi shook his head tersely as his eyebrows drew closer together in anger. Kankuro grabbed Kiba's arm and was about to pull him away when Shibi spoke again.

"It would be better for everyone if neither of you came back here." Kankuro felt Kiba's arm tense dramatically. Naruto looked confused while Shikamaru looked deep in thought. Kiba once again tried to speak but was cut off once again. "You've hurt him enough, please leave." With that Shibi went into the door and closed the door gently, if nothing else the Aburame household was polite.

The words lingered in the air for a time making Kankuro feel slightly dizzy. The slight taste of bile hit the back of his throat as he thought of what had just happened. He had managed to single-handedly destroy someone that he had actually considered a friend. He felt like a traitor, a torturer, and a monster. He felt a hand on his arm and looked to Kiba who was trying desperately not to have a breakdown of his own. His eyes were absolutely devastated. Kankuro felt his heart tear painfully as he took Kiba in his arms. At that moment nothing mattered, not the odd looks they were getting from Naruto or the sympathetic one from Shikamaru. No, none of that mattered. It was all falling apart around them and all Kankuro could think was that he had been right, nothing would ever be ok.

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TBC

Right...Sorry for the angst...um I will make this happy eventually...I hope...


	8. Chapter 8

Don't You Feel It Too?

Part 8

Pairings: Kankuro/Kiba/Shino (it's kinda a love triangle that's becoming more of a threesome...)

Ratings: PG-13

Warnings: slight drug use (it's medicinal dude...) and angst seems to be receding, yay! (Not much of a warning is it??)

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The first thing that raced through Shino's mind, after the pounding of a headache, was the fact that he was alone. His room was dark which he was rather thankful for considering the pain he was in. He tried sitting up but he felt weak, his arms shaking from the strain. Collapsing back into his pillow, he sighed angrily. He was so exhausted, both physically and mentally. All he wanted to do was sleep and never wake up, especially not after the humiliation of having a complete breakdown for no apparent reason.

It had been a horrible feeling, sitting there not being able to control anything. It was something so alien to him and it made him want to curl inside himself for eternity. He had shown the ultimate weakness to not only his father but to Kiba, Kankuro _and_ Tsunade. What if she would not allow him to go on missions anymore, afraid that he would have another episode? If he couldn't be a ninja for Konoha anymore..._that_ would truly kill him.

The embarrassment of the whole day was threatening to split him at the seams. What had come over him to make him freak out like that? It didn't make sense to him, probably because he had never experienced anything close to lack of control. Was that the epitome of depression, is that what he was reduced to now? A quivering mass of human anxiety and depression? All because Kankuro did not feel the same way about him?

No, that wasn't the only reason, that had been the last straw. He had ignored everything in his life until then, the taunts and glares. He had been able to stand the fact that no kids would play with him at recess because he attracted bugs. He was able to block out the screams of the little girls who would run away crying to their mothers. Even when the mothers would stand across the street, yelling at him to take his filthy _bugs_ elsewhere, he could take it. As he grew older, he became used to it. His dad having explained that people were not very accepting of others who were different.

There were moments though, throughout his childhood where the thick skin he had built would tear. Days when everyone seemed to have a sharp tongue and even crueler words. It was on those days, especially when he was younger, that he would walk home and sit in his room alone. He had never cried about it, never. Sure there was a constant sting deep where he couldn't reach, but it never truly effected his life. Apparently, it had all settled inside him waiting for the right push to bring every hurt to the surface and break him.

Closing his eyes, desperate to go back to sleep, Shino tried to push all of that away. He felt he deserved at least a moment without emotional torture. It was all in vein though as he heard the door open. The kikai in his body hummed as the other kikai wielder came closer. Shino was mortified to face his father, he felt like a failure and quickly turned onto his side as his father sat on the bed. He heard his dad sigh and felt a hand rest on his back. Shino tensed but refused to acknowledge the mans presence.

"Shino." He couldn't help the wince as he heard his name in the quiet room. Not only was he a freak, but he was a failure to his clan, and that hurt more than anything he was suffering from. "There's no need to cry." Shino blinked as he felt the tears drip down his face, when had that started? He whimpered lightly as Shibi pulled him onto his back. He was pathetic and he didn't want his father to see it again.

It was to his surprise that his father didn't have his own glasses on, his eyes troubled and concerned. He felt his lips tremble as his father gently pushed his tears away. "You're a good actor Shino to have been in so much pain for so long. No one even expected it. Not even your own clan." Shino blinked up at his dad feeling so little and weak, he felt useless. "I think you should know something about our clan Shino. Surprising as it sounds, we are prone to depression. Our whole clan suffers from being outcaste to society but we are good at hiding the fact that words are rather harmful for us. No human who has a soul is completely immune to being an emotional punching bag." Shino moved closer to his father and put his head on the elder's knee. He felt long fingers run through his hair and he sighed as some of the grief finally seemed to ease. He was not used to his father saying much, if anything at all, but the fact that he was willing to try and make Shino feel better meant the world to him.

"I'm sorry." Shino couldn't think of anything else to say. He was mortified of being a disgrace to his father but it was hard to feel that way with the comforting touch and the soft hum of both his and his father kikai.

"Tsunade will be here later, she needs to talk to you. She needs to see if you need medication." Shino felt his body tense once again at the mention of drugs. It hadn't even crossed his mind that he may need some sort of pill to help with his depression. The thought of taking a pill to stabilize his psyche was unnerving and a little frightening.

"Can I still be a shinobi?" Shino knew that if his father was aware of anything then he would tell his son. The Aburame clan was after all, known for it's bluntness. The fingers in his hair stopped immediately and Shino couldn't help the feeling of dread that seemed to attack from every angle..

"Tsunade will tell us later, but as for right now...you have been released from your duties as a Konoha shinobi. Hokage-sama has asked me to keep you here until there is improvement in your condition." Shino had never felt empty in his life, the kikai were always there as was his father and recently Kiba too, but the one thing that always kept him stable was training. When everything was concentrated on one move to attack an enemy, then he was safe from everything else. Being relieved of his duty meant he could not train and if he could not train...Shino did not want to think where his mind would go from there. A panic attack seemed light compared to what would happen if he was no longer allowed to practice. "You're strong son, this will pass quickly and you will be able to go on missions again." Maybe it was just the way Shino was feeling at that moment but to his own ears, his father did not sound all too sure.

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Kankuro turned on his side to look at the boy next to him. Kiba looked up to the ceiling with a blank expression. They were both laying on Kankuro's bed both lost in their own thoughts. After having been kicked, ever so nicely, off the Aburame property, they had walked back to the temporary home Kankuro was using and went straight upstairs to the bedroom. They hadn't spoken a word to one another since they had left Shino's house. Kankuro gently caressed his lovers cheeks, outlining the prominent red marks of his clan. He heard Akamaru whimper in the corner and sighed. Kiba was lost in deep thought and didn't even react to the soft touch. Kankuro sat up and stared at the bedroom door.

"He hates me." Kankuro almost jumped at the sudden interruption to the cold silence. He looked to the Inuzuka and frowned deeply.

"Shino could never hate you Kiba, you know that. You're his best friend." Kiba looked over to Kankuro, a sudden angry flame in his eyes.

"That's exactly _why_ he hates me! How could I do something like that to him? I basically set him up for a mental breakdown!" Kankuro sighed and rubbed his forehead to fend off the pending headache that threatened.

"It's not your fault that Shino broke down, Shit, it's not _anyone's_ fault. Trust me, he would not hate you. You tried to help him which is a hell of a lot more then most people have done for him." Kiba growled and jumped off the bed beginning to pace back and forth.

"How can you say that?! I have been nothing but cruel to him without even realizing it! I'm a horrible friend..." Kankuro loved Kiba with all his heart but at the moment he wanted to strangle the other boy. He stood up and quickly locked Kiba in a tight embrace.

"Kiba listen to me, Shino will _never_ hate you. Trust me on this. Look Shino is really screwed up right now, it happens sometimes. The kid has never felt love before except from his dad, and ...well you. No one else has ever looked at him like he was anything more than scum. It just finally seemed to catch up with him. Of course if anyone's to really blame, it would be me. I didn't actually handle any of it well." Kiba looked up at Kankuro for a minute then broke away from him to sit on the bed again.

"It's not fair, Shino's...special. He was around for me when no one else had the patience to be, even if he was annoyed as shit with me. Now the one time I could possibly help him, I end up causing a chain reaction to a fucking panic attack. I mean did you see the look on Shibi's face? He was beyond angry, I mean I've seen an Aburame angry but nothing could compare to that look." Kiba took a deep breath and looked up to Kankuro, his eyes giving away how devastated he felt. "What if I never get the chance to apologize Kankuro?" Kankuro sat next to Kiba and wrapped an arm around him, letting the younger boy lean against him.

"You'll be able to see him again soon, don't worry, Shino will pull through this. I never knew that kid to give up and I certainly don't expect him to now." Kiba seemed to relax slightly, leaning on his lovers shoulder. Kankuro on the other hand was a jumble of emotions he just couldn't figure out. He needed to think and he, not Kiba, needed to think of a way to apologize.

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Tsunade read over the report slowly engraving every detail into memory. The issue with Shino was taking up most of her waking hours. Depression for a ninja was quite severe and could cost lives if not taken care of immediately. That, or she would have no choice but to permanently release Shino from his rank.

Growling slightly she slammed the report down and turned to look out the giant picture window. What Shibi had told her painted a rather lonely picture for the Aburame clan. Of course that was the way of life and most of the clan were able to deal with it through the help of others. As it seemed though, the generation that Shino grew up with was rather devastating. Most of the rookie nine had suffered in one way or another, whether it had been bugs or eating habits, only being able to fight using taijutsu, or having a demon sealed in their body. At one time or another they had all suffered depression, luckily though they had always gotten through it. Shino on the other hand had not suffered any real depression as a child, he had excepted what was going on as his own fate. He _never_ spoke of his feelings and that was partly the reason he had broken so completely.

The Hokage glared at rising sun, having spent all night trying to figure out what needed to be done. To give a shinobi anti-depressants was dangerous enough but without knowing how the kikai would act was still an issue. She could very well kill the boy with any type of drug if his body rejected the medicine. The Aburame clan was a strong clan, dangerous in their power, but also rather difficult to understand. They all stayed generally around the clan members making it hard to know much, if any, medical practices that could be performed.

It had been a sad sight when the Hokage had walked into that boys room. His father holding his shaking form and trying to calm him. Shino had been rather unresponsive at first but had slowly come around. Tsunade hadn't been able to question him though as he still seemed to be lost in his own emotions. A quick sedative was given, already knowing that would not harm him, and Tsunade had left telling Shibi she'd be back to question the boy. She was determined to find out just where the source of all the damage lay in the kikai master. If she could find that then maybe getting rid of the cause could help downplay the depression enough so he could once again focus on missions.

Tsunade stood from her desk and made her way to the door. She remembered Shino mumbling something about the Inuzuka, hopefully he could fill her in on what was going on. That was, she would ask the Inuzuka after she found a decent medicine.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Kankuro frowned as he heard a knock at the front door. Kiba was asleep on the bed, having been emotionally drained. Carefully as to not wake up his lover he sat up and quickly went to the door. When he saw who was there he couldn't help but blink with confusion.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Shikamaru seemed to want to glare but didn't have the will to do so. He waved a hand in the laziest manner possible.

"Hokage-sama wants to see Kiba, she's at Shino's house." Kankuro glared and rolled his eyes.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Shibi has told us to never go near his precious baby boy ever again, you were _there_ when he said it." Even as he said it he could feel his rage boil, but it wasn't at Shino or Shikamaru, not even the Hokage. No, he was mad at himself. Shino had suffered something unbelievably traumatic and here he was, being an asshole about it.

"My mission was to get Kiba; not explain anything to you. I figured he'd be here considering your relationship. So stop being a troublesome moron and go get him." Kankuro wanted to punch the genius in the face for being so nonchalant about basically everything. He didn't care if Temari had a crush on him or not!

"Kanky, stop fighting with the locals. I'll go Shikamaru." The chunin nodded and stepped away from the door. Kiba nodded and with Akamaru walked past Kankuro, kissing him on the way out. "I'll let you know what happens." Kankuro nodded and watched as his lover followed Shikamaru toward Shino's place.

Being alone was probably not the best thing for him at the moment. Not only did he feel like a complete and total asshole, but he also felt hurt. Like he had caused this all himself. How was he going to make this right when he couldn't possibly be with Shino? Not only that, but even if he could get with Shino without hurting anyone in the process, who said that being with Kankuro would make everything better? There was some serious emotional issues to be dealt with and Kankuro didn't even know where to start.

"Fuck Kiba, I hope you find out _something_ for his sake..."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Kiba ran behind Shikamaru, heart and stomach in knots. If he was able to see Shino, what the hell would he say? 'Oh yeah sorry I made you have a panic attack, want to go out for lunch later?' Seriously, who was he kidding. Shino would probably take one look at him and freak out again. That or he'd just lean over and punch Kiba in the face. Either idea made Kiba want to throw up. As they got closer to Shino's home he could feel his nerves jitter and his forehead begin to sweat.

Reaching the house, it was a miracle in itself that Kiba didn't turn tail and run. He was so scared Shino would hate him. He jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder trying to bite it out of reflex. Luckily Shikamaru was a fast ninja and he quickly pulled his hand back. Rolling his eyes he yawned slightly.

"You can go inside, Hokage-sama is waiting." Kiba nodded and quickly walked into the house, forcing one foot to go in front of the other. Inside the living room sat Tsunade and Shibi. They sat there and looked as Kiba walked in. He opened his mouth to say something, anything really but was silenced by Tsunade's hand.

"Shibi has told me what Shino has been feeling for Kankuro as of late. What exactly happened yesterday?" Kiba bit his lip trying to think of how to word what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell them it was his fault but that he hadn't meant to be malicious. He had wanted to _help_ Shino, not make it worse! "Did you come here last night with Kankuro to hurt Shino?" Kiba's eyes snapped over to Tsunade as he was accused.

"What?! No! I wanted to help him! He's in love with Kankuro, I didn't mean to hurt him, I wanted to talk everything through so no one would be hurt! He's my best friend, I wanted him to feel better. He seemed to be ok before I brought Kankuro inside. Shino actually seemed rather happy when we were done talking." Kiba could feel his face glow red with embarrassment and slight anger. Why were they accusing him of being such an awful human being? He hadn't meant to cause Shino more distress and when he was in the room, just the two of them, it was fine.

"Please stop." All three people in the livingroom turned quickly to see Shino at the top of the stairs. His glasses and coat were on and he was frowning. "Leave him alone, he didn't do anything wrong." Shino walked down the stairs, not half as graceful as he usually was but he managed. Kiba had never seen anything more beautiful then his friend at that moment.

"Shino!" Kiba ran over to the other boy and hugged him tightly. He was pleasantly surprised when it was returned, though not as roughly.

"It's ok Kiba. Please dad, leave him alone. This is my problem, neither him nor Kankuro did anything." Kiba had to admit, while he was glad Shino was acting ok, it seemed to be just that, an act. Pulling away from the slightly taller boy he looked at him in concern. Tsunade was next to Shino in a moment.

"Don't even try it. Your not going to get back to training until I _know_ your seriously ok. It would be to dangerous to send you anywhere the way you are right now." Kiba bit his lip and watched as Shino's eyebrows lowered in a glare.

"Uh hey wait a sec. How about if Shino doesn't go on any missions now, but you know, he can train...with me?" Tsunade looked curiously at Kiba, more than likely trying to see an ulterior motive to his request. Kiba sighed dramatically and turned to Shibi. "C'mon Mr.Aburame! Let him train with me it'll keep his mind on something other than...well all that crap that's been eating away at him." Of course he probably shouldn't have said it in those words as he was glared at by everyone in the room, but it seemed to work. Shibi looked at Shino who nodded once. Shibi sighed but looked to Tsunade.

"I think that might work, I'll keep an eye on him and tell you if anything comes up." Tsunade didn't look thrilled by the idea but nodded.

"Alright, but if anything should go wrong and anyone bangs on my door again rushing me over here, then you are in deep shit." Kiba gulped and nodded as the Hokage quickly left. Kiba turned back to Shino who nodded.

"Thank you Kiba." Kiba grinned and winked.

"Don't mention it, so you in the mood to spar for a bit?" Shibi looked ready to protest but Shino nodded.

"Yes." Kiba grinned and ran out of the house. Akamaru yelping as he was tackled to the ground by his excited master.

"Come on boy we got a sparring session!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Shino watched as Kiba ran outside in a fit of joy.

"Shino." Shino looked up at his father and nodded. Shibi sighed and put a hand on his son's shoulder. "Just be careful, there is still a chance that you'll have to take those pills..." Shino looked at his dad then down at the floor. It was hard watching his dad trip over words like having a mentally disturbed son wasn't enough.

"I'll be ok." Shibi nodded and stepped aside to let Shino past. Shino walked out the door and came to a sudden stop when he saw Kankuro outside with Kiba. Kiba looked nervous as he gently pushed at Kankuro's arm, trying to get him to leave. Kankuro shook Kiba off gently and walked towards Shino slowly as to not scare him. Shino stood a little straighter, he didn't feel any kind of panic just a dark hole that seemed to sit still in his chest. Shino was mildly surprised that it didn't seem to widen any. Maybe the trial medication he was given by the Hokage was working. He nodded as the older boy stopped about 2 feet away. "Kankuro."

"How ya feeling?" Shino shrugged and shook his head, a small sad smile coming to his lips.

"I feel like an invalid, I'm going to be forever known as a mental case who can't go on missions. If that's better then complete panic then I guess I feel better." Kankuro frowned deeply as Shino went to walk past him. Kiba was suddenly in front of Shino blocking his path.

"Hold on man, Tsunade said that she needed to see if you were ok before you could go on any missions, she didn't say anything about forever keeping you away from them." Shino nodded and looked in the direction of the Hokage building.

"She gave me a medication that shouldn't react badly with the kikai. Do you really think if I have to stay on these meds that I'll ever be able to go on a mission? It's just a way to make everyone feel a little better about the situation." Kiba looked at Shino wide eyed then turned to his lover who had a blank look in his eyes.

"Y-you can't be serious! I mean your one of the best in Konoha!" The Aburame shook his head while that same sad smile graced his lips, just visible over the collar.

"Kiba, there's something wrong with me emotionally, Tsunade said I have clinical depression which was genetically passed down to me. Most of the clan only has it for a short time so she thinks it'll pass but I'll need medication to help it. She told me that even if I do seem better in a short time, she'll watch me to make sure I can perform missions. Basically I won't be able to take missions for...it can take years if the depression lasts long enough." Kiba looked like he had swallowed something extremely foul as he began to pace back and forth. Kankuro still had that blank expression on his face.

"That's horseshit! You'll be fine in no time! I'll help you and so will Kankuro!" Shino shook his head and was going to protest greatly until Kankuro took Shino's hand in his own. Kiba and Shino looked at Kankuro in absolute confusion and surprise. Kankuro wasn't looking at either boy and if Shino didn't know any better he'd say Kankuro was _blushing_.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Kankuro had no idea what he was doing but it seemed like the perfect thing to do at the time. He couldn't explain why he suddenly felt so shy just by holding the other boys hand but it was intense. Ignoring the two odd looks he knew the others were giving him he slowly rubbed his thumb over Shino's skin, soft and pale, absolutely beautiful. He sighed mentally, he wanted to apologize for everything he had done, he wanted things to be like they used to be. He wanted the time when Shino wasn't afraid to ask for a spar, when the Aburame was indifferent but always loyal. He wanted the Shino who would never talk like it was the end of everything. He wanted Kiba's best friend, he wanted _their_ Shino instead of this shell.

Kankuro was a man of action, never really having the most articulate vocabulary. That was when he put all his wants and apologies into one action. Leaning down slightly, he lifted the hand that now lay in his own, up slightly only to press his lips against the warm skin. He heard a gasp and wasn't sure who it came from but as he looked into dark glasses he lifted his lips.

"Forgive me." Shino stood still as a statue while Kiba was rather slack-jawed in awe. Kankuro nodded slightly as the pale hand slid from his own tanned one, fingers brushing over each other gently. "If you can that is. I've hurt you in a lot of ways and I'd do anything for you to forgive me."

Coming out of his shell shocked position Shino lifted his hand to his chest as if he'd been burned. Kankuro frowned but nodded. "Look if you can't or won't that's fine but..." Kankuro was interrupted by a soft whisper.

"Thank you." Kankuro looked at Shino and saw a small smile curl on thin lips, not the sad, defeated smile, but a real, warm smile. It seemed to have the power to melt Kankuro into a puddle. "I never blamed you, but thank you." Kankuro nodded and turned to Kiba who was smiling brightly, his eyes looked slightly glassy with tears but none formed. Suddenly Kiba shook his head and wiped a hand over his face.

"Well Shino, ya ready to spar or what?" Shino nodded slightly and stood back into a defensive position. Kankuro moved back and sat on the lawn to watch. "Yo Shino, If I win you get to buy lunch right?" Kankuro watched as Shino laughed softly.

"Ok." Kankuro watched as they began their fight. Maybe he was wrong, maybe things were starting to look up. As he watched Kiba fall onto his ass, Kankuro figured for once, he'd just stop trying to predict the future.

0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o

TBC

Yeah so while this chappie is kinda long, I figured it worked out for the best.

I also just figured I'd let everyone know that I adore Shino so I am determined to make this happy!

I don't know bout you guys but I'm feeling a bit of a Kankuro/Kiba/Shino vibe, what do ya think?


	9. Chapter 9

1Title: Don't You Feel It Too

Part 9

Rating: uh pg-13 I guess

Pairings; Kankuro/Kiba/Shino... eventually

Warnings: Still slight angst I guess that's about it

A/N: All I have to say is sorry for the delay but it seems my muse is back so next part I'm thinking will be up shortly (don't quote me on that though)

The stream bubbled and churned slowly as the warm summer breeze blew through the trees. Shino took a deep breath of the clean air as a leaf fell into his lap. He was once again at his favorite spot and this time, he didn't feel so miserable. His thoughts were interrupted when a long-nailed hand took the leaf from his lap. Shino turned to the other boy, the leaf now twirling between two fingers. Kiba was laying on his stomach as he stared at the leaf.

"You know I think I have become more intellectual in the last few weeks since spending so much time with you." Shino looked over at Kiba and couldn't help but chuckle softly. Kiba looked over and grinned. "Hey I resent that!" Shino shook his head and couldn't help but smile behind his collar. He never thought that he would enjoy spending so much time with the Inuzuka. It was true that they had been best friends for a long time but they had never really spent 'quality time' together.

It had been three weeks now since the _incident_ and Kiba seemed to make it his duty to be with Shino at least once a day. The Aburame appreciated it more then he could ever say. The dog-nin actually made him feel wanted and maybe even a little loved. It felt good.

"So did Tsunade say anything about you starting missions again? I mean with Kankuro back in Suna for a another two weeks it's going to suck if I have to go on a mission and leave you here." Shino nodded slightly and sighed. Kankuro had left a few days after he had apologized for a mission in Suna so it had been rather boring for both Konoha nins. They had trained everyday but it wasn't the same as the exhilaration of a real mission. To get out of Konoha just for a while and travel to a new village was something Shino ached for. "Hey man, why don't we go do something fun? We can go to the onsen if you want." Shino looked over at Kiba then slowly looked to the other side of the stream.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." The older boy looked down in his lap at his folded hands as he heard the other boy shift into a sitting position. He felt nails rake over his scalp gently and couldn't help but close his eyes.

"Hey." Shino opened his eyes to slits as Kiba whispered to him. "Stop doing that to yourself Shino. Your kikai are a part of you, as are your scars. You can't hide in this tent you call a jacket forever, it's just not right to hide something as pretty as you." Shino looked over at Kiba who smiled softly and took his own hand away from the dark locks. "Please come with me? We'll go to one that is quiet I promise." Shino tried to say no again, he really did not feel like going to a public bath just to be tortured into leaving. Unfortunately Kiba knew exactly how to pull off the puppy dog eyes. Shino felt an irrational pull in his chest as Kiba smiled hopefully. "I can beg too if you want?" Shino swallowed slightly and stood up turning in the direction of his house when a hand around his wrist stopped him.

"Kiba..." There was a slight pull and Shino turned around. Kiba's lips quirked up into a half smile as he pulled again at Shino's wrist.

"Tell you what, come with me to the onsen, if we don't find one that's empty we will come back. Whadda ya say?" Shino wanted to say no, he really did but Kiba's eyes were warm and comforting and his grip was gentle and persistent. Shino sighed and nodded ever so slightly. Kiba smiled widely and let go of Shino's wrist only to whistle for Akamaru. The kikai wielder rubbed his wrist suddenly, trying to get rid of the tingle that began to race up his arm. Shino couldn't figure out when Kiba's touch seemed to turn electric and he decided he was not going to expand on the thought either, it would only complicate an already sticky situation. "Come on!" Shino nodded once and they began walking towards town.

"I haven't been to town in a while..." Kiba turned to look at the slightly taller boy and smiled slightly.

"Well then it's good we're getting you over there now, don't worry we'll stay clear of the main streets ok?" Shino didn't acknowledge the other nin as they walked through the woods towards the road that led to town. Shino could feel the anxiety of seeing his peers move in on him. He stopped for a moment, not knowing if he could see even one person he knew without breaking down. He noticed Kiba stopping shortly after him only a few paces ahead. "Shino?" The older boy bit his lip, not sure if he could put one foot in front of the other at that moment. He felt his hands begin to shake and mentally tried to calm his body. He was shaken from his thoughts, literally. "Hey baby, try to calm down ok? Just try to relax. We won't go if it gets you this upset ok? Just take deep breaths for me." Shino looked at Kiba and nodded not noticing the endearment. The hands gripping his shoulders squeezed just slightly.

"I'm sorry." Kiba shook his head as one hand moved to Shino's ear, rubbing the lobe gently between to fingers.

"Don't worry bout that, I just want you to be ok. Come on, we'll go back to your house and hang around there ok?" Kiba went to turn back in the direction of the Aburame house but a hand to his own shoulder stopped him.

"No. I want to go, I need to get over this irrational anxiety." Kiba didn't look convinced and hesitated.

"Shino, this isn't something you can really control and I really don't think going through something stressful will help you. It's ok, we can go back I don't mind." Shino shook his head and frowned angrily.

"No. I am tired of holding you back. For the last three weeks you have been right by my side whenever I needed you, I can't keep you away from the rest of the village and I don't want you feeling bad when you _do_ go with others." Kiba sighed and walked back in front of the taller boy once again.

"Shino, you don't hold me back, you never have. You were always there for me when I needed a friend and now that you need someone, I'm not going anywhere. Now don't worry about me." Kiba smirked and turned once again towards the direction of Shino's house. Shino on the other hand, watched Kiba turn and felt another strange twist in his chest.

"Kiba wait." The Inuzuka stopped and turned his head just slightly. "With you, I can go to the onsen. I just...I need you with me." The last few words were whispered mostly to himself. Actually Shino wasn't even sure if the other nin heard him. It was only when he was pulled into a strong hug did he realize it was not only a good sense of smell the other boy had.

"You've got me Shino, you've always got me with you. If your ok we'll go. We'll go to the village and relax a bit. Come on let's go babe." Kiba smirked and grabbed Shino's hand. The kikai master shook his head but couldn't help the small twitch of his lips.

"Don't give me pet names, Kankuro wouldn't like that." Kiba laughed and squeezed the others hand.

"I'm sure he won't mind, don't worry bout him. Come on let's go." Shino was going to force Kiba to let go of his hand but as he was lead closer to the road, he realized that being held actually helped. He smiled slightly and squeezed the hand holding his. The gesture was quickly returned with a soft laugh. "You're so cute Shino, come on let's go." The Aburame blushed and tried to hide it behind his collar but Kiba just ignored it and pulled him closer to the village. "This is going to be great!" Shino hoped that he would be able to share his friends enthusiasm once they got there.

0o0o0ooo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The road was rather quiet as the two ninjas made there way towards the onsen. They had let go of each others hands a while back down the road but the backs of their hands would occasionally brush sending a slight shock through each boys arms.

Shino didn't know exactly when _it_ happened but he knew it was after spending so much time with Kiba. Every time they touched, he felt almost nervous, butterflies in his stomach type of nervous. It was close to the same feeling he got every time he saw Kankuro. It was beginning to scare him, to have such strong feelings suddenly for his best friend. He knew it had to stop, this feeling couldn't grow anymore because if it did, he would be even more heartbroken. He couldn't deal with another love being so out of reach. If he fell in love with Kiba and still loved Kankuro, where would that leave him? It would leave him twice as broken and just as alone. He couldn't take another heartache, not so close to his first. He knew it would ruin him for good.

"You ok Shino? You look even more pale then usual. Are you sure you want to keep going?" Shino looked down at his feet and winced. He used to be so proud, always held his head high. Now he was reduced to a weak mass, in love with his best friends lover. Not only that, but now he was quickly falling for that beautiful smile of the man next to him. Kankuro had Kiba and Kiba had Kankuro. Two gorgeous men together, it was perfect and who was he to get in between that? "Hey Earth to Shino! You ok?" Shino looked up at Kiba and nodded ever so slightly.

"Sorry, I am fine I just...I was lost in thought." Kiba nodded as it had been a common occurrence for the other boy to zone in and out. Shino sighed very softly as they continued on the road. The buildings were finally in sight as the woods thinned out before them.

"Do you want to see anyone at all? I mean if you don't then we'll have to take the back alley..." Shino smiled slightly and shook his head.

"Kiba, I am fine, you don't have to make a mission of avoiding people. I'm emotionally unstable and a social outcaste but I can handle seeing people. If they are going to say something about me they will do it whether or not I am there to hear it." Kiba stared at him for a moment, a frown marring his features.

"Shino." Kiba walked up to his friend and grabbed his hand. "Whatever people say about you...I know what's true and no matter what people say, you are a beautiful person. I'm not trying to get all mushy on you here but I know you. I know you probably better then any of the people we know. I'll tell each and every one of the to fuck themselves if they say anything about you. If you won't fight for yourself then I'll fight for you." The Aburame swallowed around the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. Why did Kiba have to say something so wonderful? Why did Shino feel that traitor called hope when he knew there shouldn't be any? "Hey let's get going or by the time we get there it'll be next week." Kiba turned and began walking and taking with Akamaru. Shino bit his lip and followed silently. What could he say after a speech like that except that he was falling for his best friend too.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The onsen was quiet to Shino and Kiba's delight. They had made it there without running into anyone who knew them well. Shino had a feeling that Kiba had avoided the shorter routes for that reason and was rather grateful for it. Akamaru was left outside to his own devises and the two boys headed to the locker room to take off their clothes. Kiba grabbed two towels, throwing one at Shino.

"Do you want me to give you some privacy? I'll go to spring and wait for you if you want." Shino nodded and blushed softly.

"I'd appreciate it thank you." Kiba grinned and stripped off his jacket and mesh shirt followed by his shoes and socks. He looked up at Shino who couldn't help but watch behind dark glasses as more tan skin was revealed. Kiba winked as he unzipped his pants and pulled them off one leg at a time. Shino felt his mouth go dry as he looked at Kiba's body. He was lightly muscled and surprisingly smooth considering his bloodline. The dog nins long fingers scratched at his abdomen for a moment then grabbed the towel throwing it over his shoulder. Apparently he didn't care if anyone showed up and looked at him, which anyone who saw that body would definitely be tempted to stare. At least that's what Shino was thinking as he watched the other boy walk towards the door.

"See ya in there babe!" Kiba pushed the door open and was gone a second later. Shino on the other hand had to remember once again how to breath. Oh yeah, he was in so much trouble. Why did he have to start feeling like this now? Wasn't it enough that Kankuro wasn't available, why did it seem the entire world wanted to see him suffer over and over again. It took him 16 years to fall in love, but once he did it seemed he finally realized what he had next to him for years.

Shino sighed to himself as he slowly took off his jacket. A few kikai crawling along his arms and collarbone. He pleaded with them to stay in his body for the time he was with Kiba. That's all he needed was to gross the younger boy out with his _bugs_. He hesitated removing his mesh shirt. He felt his heartbeat grow faster as he reached for the bottom hem. His hands started shaking just slightly as he lifted the mesh off of his body. He looked down at his chest and stomach and closed his eyes sadly. He had lost some weight since the panic attack and the scars just seemed so dark on his skin. He truly felt ugly at that moment.

"How could either of them look at me if I can't even look at myself?" the kikai wielder looked down at his pants, hanging off his hips. He didn't want to take them off, but he also didn't want to leave without Kiba. He lifted his leg to take off his shoe and sock, he smiled slightly at the kikai caught on the fabric. He put a finger next to the insect and called it to him. It was quick to crawl onto his skin and burrow deep within the body it called home. The dark haired boy made quick work of the other shoe and placed both on the bench behind him. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and tugged at his pants. Shino felt the blush that attacked his cheeks as he quickly wrapped the towel around his hips. After the mortification died, he folded his clothes and put them in the locker.

The Aburame leaned his head against the cool locker door and tried to calm his erratic heart. He was scared that the moment he walked into that spring, Kiba would realize just what Shino was and would turn his back on the older boy. Shino closed his eyes and clenched his fists tightly. If Kiba left him, found him disgusting and weak, Shino just wouldn't be able to live with that. He already caused enough problems because of his love for Kankuro, what would happen if Kiba found out that Shino was also beginning to fall for him too. Would he think Shino was a weak slut who just wanted the attention?

Shino shook his head almost violently. No, he knew Kiba for too long know. The Inuzuka would not call him any names like that, he would not use Shino's emotions against him. Shino steeled his nerves and turned towards the door. He walked over to the door and took a deep breath. Pushing the large wooden door slowly, he noticed noone in the hall so he moved swiftly to the shower room.

It seemed Kiba was already in the spring. Shino walked over to the shower head and placed the towel on the stool. He planed to bathe quickly, he didn't want to be naked and in the open for very long. Turning on the warm water he realized he forgot to take his glasses off and couldn't help but smirk slightly as they fogged. Shaking his head he made quick work of washing and rinsing. Taking the towel once again he moved to the other side of the room towards the spring. Once he entered the room with the hot spring he stopped short and blinked. Kiba sat there, his arms spread over the ledge of the spring, head back and his eyes closed. The red marks almost lost on the flushed cheeks.

Shino moved forward and quickly got into the water, trying to hide everything before Kiba realized he was there.

"Hey! Come on Shino, you got to see me naked, it's only fair to return the favor." Kiba was looking at him now with a large grin on his face. Shino glared slightly and refused to respond. "Oh c'mon lovey! Well at least take the glasses off if your going to sit like that. I mean you can at least get your chin out of the water." Shino sighed as he slowly sat up, his arms lifted over his chest to hide the scars on his body.

"I don't want to take my glasses off." Kiba sighed then shrugged laying back again.

"Alright, let's just relax for a while then." Shino didn't know how he was going to relax with his very naked best friend sitting only a few feet away. His very beautiful best friend. Add the fact that he was naked also, it just made for an awkward situation. Shino wanted to leave before anything should happen. To break into another panic attack in the middle of the onsen was not exactly something he wanted to experience. Especially while naked. Shaking his head Shino went to move.

"Kiba I'm sorry I can't..." Before he could finish, Kiba had glided over so that he was kneeling right in front of him. Shino's whole body tingled and tensed, Kiba was just _so_ close.

"Shino." Shino stopped breathing as Kiba ran a hand through the older boys hair. Kiba seemed nervous in his own right as he slowly took Shino's glasses in both hands and slid them off his nose. Shino blinked as Kiba looked at him, his eyes were warm and there was a slight smile tugging at his lips. Kiba ran his hands over Shino's shoulders and down his arms, gently prying them from his chest. "Please don't hide from me. I finally got you to trust me enough to talk to me. I want you to feel comfortable enough to show me too." Shino finally forced in a breath of air. He was feeling light headed and weak. Kiba was so close and he was being so sweet, Shino couldn't understand it at all.

Shino felt a deep blush hit his cheeks as he realized just how close Kiba was and just where their bodies met. He felt his heart race but this time it wasn't from panic. He wanted this to mean something. Shino realized that he wanted Kiba to _really _mean what he was saying. He wanted Kiba and he wanted Kankuro, He wanted the two lovers to love _him_.

"Why are you crying hon?" Shino frowned and pulled one hand from Kiba's grasp to rub at his eyes. He didn't know how Kiba could tell considering they were sitting in a pool of water. Seemingly reading the look on Shino's face, Kiba smiled softly. "I can smell the salt, it smells different then sweat." Kiba let go of Shino's other arm and cupped Shino's face, rubbing his thumbs over the flushed skin. "Please Shino, talk to me. I know you haven't been taking the pills Tsunade made you but you've seemed ok. What has you like this now? Is it still Kankuro?"

Shino felt more exposed at that moment then any other in his life. Without his glasses to protect him from the concerned gaze he was receiving, he felt defenseless. He felt the emotionless mask he usually wore begin to crack as Kiba held him. The younger boy tugged Shino to his chest and wrapped strong arms around him.

"It's ok Shino, I'm here. Tell me. Let me help you." Shino wrapped his arms around Kiba's neck and laid his head on top of them, his nose near Kiba's ear. Kiba murmured into the other boy's ear softly trying to coax something from Shino besides sobs.

"Kiba..." He felt the strong arms around his waist tighten.

"Oh Shino, what are you hiding in that heart of yours." It was whispered with a kiss which only caused Shino to shiver and cry a little harder. "Please tell me how to help you, tell me anything, just talk to me."

Shino opened his mouth, not really sure what to say but what slipped out only horrified him. "I love you Kiba." Kiba's body tensed and the arms that were firmly wrapped around Shino's waist slackened. Shino closed his eyes and pulled away from the other nin. He turned and began to move towards the edge of the spring. "I'm sorry." Feeling about as worthless as he did a few weeks ago he grabbed the ledge ready to pull himself out when those strong arms caught him from behind in a tight hug.

"Don't leave Shino. Don't say something so wonderful to me then leave. I've been waiting years to hear you say that to me, even as a friend. If that's what this is then that's great but if it's something more then friendship...that's great too..." Shino turned his head slightly to look at the other boy.

"What? But Kankuro..." Kiba smiled slightly.

"Don't get me wrong. I love that bastard to death, but I've always loved you Shino. You were always so untouchable though. To hear you say that to me...I just couldn't let you leave without telling you that I love you too." Shino blinked owlishly at the dog nin. Kiba smiled once again and suddenly turned Shino around and kissed him. It wasn't a passionate kiss, it was tender, lips pressed gently against lips. Shino's eyes widened as Kiba pressed just a little harder. Arms locking him in a warm embrace.

A soft moan broke past Shino's lips as his eyes slid shut. How long had he wanted to feel anything even close to this. For someone to not be disgusted and hate him. The kikai hummed through his body as he wrapped his arms around Kiba's neck. He truly did love this boy as much as Kankuro.

The thought of Kankuro snapped Shino out of his daze. He pushed Kiba back and took a moment to catch his breath. Kiba was breathing heavily as well, cheeks flushed much darker then they had been before the kiss.

"We...we can't, Kankuro..." Kiba ran a hand through his mop of brown hair, a startled look on his face. "I'm sorry Kiba. I love you but I also love Kankuro. I can't..._we_ can't do this...I'm so sorry. You and Kankuro belong to one another and I can't...I _won't_ come between that. I'm so sorry!" Shino turned and jumped out of the spring ignoring Kiba's calls for him to stop.

He ran to the locker room, tears streaming down his face. He needed to get home and quickly. His glasses were still at the spring but he couldn't go back. He had just kissed Kiba, his best friend. The lover of the man Shino loved yet Kiba was also a man Shino loved. The thin boy threw on his coat and pants and ran from the onsen not caring who saw him with tears falling from his eyes.

God, what did he do??

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Kiba watched in horror as Shino ran from the room. He wanted to follow the other boy, but he knew it would only make Shino feel worse. How could he have been so dumb as to kiss Shino? He knew Shino had been in love with Kankuro for years, of course Shino would think of the older boy. Kiba closed his eyes and sighed sadly, all the progress they made together had been ruined. All because Kiba just had to taste those lips, those soft luscious lips. The dog nin sighed again and turned to the edge of the spring. He picked up the dark glasses and looked at them closely. There was no way he was going to let Shino fall back into that hell of depression. Kiba looked at his reflection and smiled slightly. He knew just how to get Shino back on track.

Now if only he could convince Kankuro...

TBC!

Holy crap it's been a while huh? Sorry for the delay and all I've been so busy and writers block has killed me. So I hope you enjoyed!


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